The Heart Keeper
by lauralulubee
Summary: After tragedy strikes Katniss leaves everything behind. Peeta is on top of the world but hates who he is and how he got there. When he meets Katniss Everdeen, everything changes.
1. Wrath- One Black Dress, Two Funerals

**Hey Everyone! This is a story I've had in my head for awhile and have decided to set it to Prompts in Panem's 7 deadly sins. Thanks to my friend, Lbug84 for her awesome betaing of this chapter and for being a bouncing board for the story. I highly suggest everyone check out her story_ Blend_ when you get a chance! I hope you all enjoy and I very much appreciate the feedback! Please read and Review! **

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**Prologue- Three Years Earlier **

Katniss pov

The bittersweet melody of the bagpipes almost drowns out the screaming in my head. It's a warm overcast day but it may as well be the middle of winter for all I can tell. The wheels make a slight squeaking noise as they slowly lower the caskets into the ground. It still hasn't registered. I could just as easily be watching them bury strangers. It's almost as though after I leave here, I'll arrive home to find Gale on the couch watching the football game with Prim on the floor by his feet playing with her dolls. I'll tell him about how weird funerals are. When the game goes to commercial he'll follow me into our bedroom where he'll unzip my itchy black dress and squeeze my shoulders gently to release the tension. He'll run his hand down my back and when I shiver, he'll place a soft kiss to my neck and whisper, "later."

"It is a custom of the Hawthorne Family to allow the family members and fellow mourners to shovel dirt into the grave. This is both to do a final kindness for the departed and to bring a sense of closure to the loved ones."

I feel a hand on my back and see Gale's mother pushing me forward. She has tears in her eyes and is grasping my mother's hand tightly. They tried to hold onto my hand but I shook them off. I move forward on wobbly feet. I have always hated wearing heels but my mother insisted I wear them today.

"It's always important to look our best even when we're feeling our worst." She'd said over my shoulder this morning.

I haven't been to a funeral since my father's. I was just a kid then, so I took her word for it. I regret it now. The cool handle of the shovel is rough against my skin. If I run my hand along the side of it I'm sure I will get multiple splinters. Whose idea was this anyway? The minister clears his throat behind me and when I look at him he says,

"Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Hawthorne." I clench my jaw to keep from lashing out at him. I'll stand here all day if I want. I pick up the shovel and drive my foot down onto the blade picking up a heaping pile of dirt, or sand. I'm not sure what it is. I let it drop into the hole with a large plump sound echoing up as it hits the hollow wood. I dig my shovel into the dirt again and lift it up walking over to the second hole. My hands shake as I turn the handle to free the soil. When the hollow sound rings out on the smaller casket, something breaks inside of me and suddenly I have to get out. I back away slowly dropping the shovel. I stumble on my heels and kick them off.

"Katniss?"

My mother calls to me. I look around and see the pain in her eyes and I _know._ I shake my head profusely and start running towards the parking lot. I hear my mother calling out to me again but I don't turn around. Then I hear the minister, I still don't turn around. I don't stop running until I've gotten in my car and back out of the gravel parking lot flinging tiny pieces of the shrapnel as I speed out.

I drive home on autopilot. When I pull into my driveway I slam the car door and walk briskly into my house ignoring the cuts on my feet. I get in quickly and close the door behind me. I turn my head sharply to the living room and see the TV off and the Barbies are still neatly put away in the cubby. I shake so hard I fall to my knees. An animal cry of pain fills the house as I bring my fisted hands up over my head letting out the trapped air from my chest. I don't know how long I'm on the floor but, I eventually get back on my feet. I'm still shaking when I walk into the living room and see a big bouquet of flowers. What must be three dozen perfectly white-stemmed roses preen in a pristine crystal vase sit on top of the mantle.

The card reads,

'Our deepest condolences for your loss.' –The Snows.

An electric current runs up my spine as I read the note once, twice, three times. The sound of shattering glass breaks through the silence as I look at it in thousands of pieces on the floor. I don't stop there. I want more of that noise. I move onto the decorative urns and revel in the rich tones of crashing pottery. I push over the bookcase, letting it fall into the glass dining table. My shouts have joined the symphony of destruction as I move on to flipping over the coffee table and dining room chairs. I see Gale's signed baseballs displayed on the shelf. I open them up and chuck them at the TV. The reverberating cracks feed on my need to hear things broken. Just like I'm broken. I grab onto the floor lamp and swing it at the window for a homerun. I jump and rip the silk curtains with my bare hands reveling in the tearing of the expensive fabric. My weight is too much and the rod falls to the floor breaking my balance. I hit the floor hard and welcome the darkness.

I'm still on the floor when I come too. I look around at my once great room. _You've really made a mess of things, Katniss. _My eyes catch on the only thing in the room that hasn't been destroyed. All of the frames are still perfectly intact and spaced flawlessly around our large wedding portrait. Not a single one fell to the floor. I brush the hair out of my eyes and notice the streak of blood. I get to my feet slowly and catch my reflection in the mirror. Sweet mercy, I'm a mess. I should go clean myself up. I walk with single-minded purpose towards my bathroom, welcoming the sting of pain with each step I take. I watch unfazed as my feet leave red stains on my bedroom carpet. I estimate how much the cleaners will charge to remove the marks. I wonder if the wallpaper will need replacing. I consider anything and everything that will keep me from looking at the bed I shared with Gale.

I rinse the residual dirt and glass from my body. I pay close attention to the bottom of my feet. I move onto the shampoo globing too much into my palm before rigorously showering off the day. When I shut off the water I'm greeted with the deafening hush of silence. I grab a towel and dry off. I look in the mirror again and see the dark circles and pale face my mother had so expertly hid this morning with her makeup. I eye the bathroom door wearily. When I go back out there I will be alone and the fog of grief will hang over me threatening to push me down to the floor. I take a deep breath and pull at the handle with purpose. I march into my closet and pull down the carry on luggage Gale's mother got us as an engagement gift. I blindly throw clothing into the tray until its full. After jerking on a pair of jeans, I zip the thing shut grabbing a pair of flats on my way out. A sharp cry rings through the air and breaks my concentration. Looking up at me from the floor is Prim's awkward orange fur ball. His green eyes, that are much to big for his face, look up at me with all kinds of questions I can't answer. I feel my jaw shake but clamp my teeth down to keep it steady. I swallow and bend down scooping up the tiny thing. I grab his carrier as I leave out the mudroom only stopping to grab a picture on the bulletin wall. Once I've pocketed the family moment I stuff the cat and a bag of its food into the carrier. I shut the back door without bothering to turn on the alarm.

I'm not sure where I'm going but I know that wherever it is, I'm buying a one-way ticket.

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	2. Greed-The Final Straw

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Peeta's pov

I unlock the double height steel doors and push them open with both hands. Finn walks straight past me, his head twisting in every direction taking it all in. I walk inside and move to stand in front of the window wall a large smile plastered on my face. From this height I can see the surf breaking against the cliff side.

"So what do you think?" I turn to ask Finn. He's got his arms spread out open wide standing in the middle of the empty living room.

"It's gorgeous, man. You know it's gorgeous. I mean look at that view! The parties you're going to be throwing in this place…Mind me asking what you paid for it?"

"Only fourteen mil., can you believe it?"

"No, really? For how many bedrooms?"

"Three, not including the maids room, the gym, or the movie theatre."

Finn whistles low. "Pool house?"

"Of course."

"Nice man. Seriously awesome and I saw that garage. Damn. You can put some real beauties in there."

"Enough space for six Bentleys or 8 Ducatis." I wink at him.

Finn lets out an appreciative nod. "Nice. Speaking of, did you hear what Marvel Slate just bought himself?"

"No, what?"

"The new Bugatti."

"Shut up." Finnick shakes his head. "That son of a bitch. I've been trying to get my hands on one of those for months. How'd he pull that off?"

"He slept with one of the interior designers or some shit like that."

"Lucky bastard," I say. Finn nods.

"So what're you doing about furniture and stuff?"

"Oh I've got a team coming in an hour to set it up. I hired some company to just do it. It's going to be more of a weekend place anyway so I can personalize as I go."

"Right. Right." He shakes his head again. "Well listen, this place is awesome. Enjoy it. You deserve it, buddy."

"Thanks Finn I will." Finn starts walking back towards the front door. "Where you going? You haven't gotten the rest of the tour."

Finn brings his hands in front of him and claps them together quietly. "Well I'm actually late for meeting Annie for lunch. I'm sure I'll see it once it's finished."

"Oh. I thought we were going to grab something after this?" Finnick's eyebrows raise and his mouth opens wide.

"You know, the old ball and chain. She's got me on a tight schedule. Rain check though. For sure, alright?"

"Oh. Yah, of course. No. I totally get it. Definitely rain check." I look back out the windows. It's turned cloudy.

"Alright, thanks man. Listen, if you want to stop by for dinner tonight you're more than welcome. Just let me know so I can tell Annie we're having one more."

"Thanks, but I'm actually picking my parents up from the airport tonight. My dad's got a supplier conference so we're going to go eat before I show them this place."

"No way, big man Mellark is coming in? That's awesome."

"Yep. Mom too."

"Well enjoy having your family. I'm sure they'll love the place."

"Thanks. Give Annie my love."

"Will do." He's halfway out the door. "And Peet, really, enjoy it."

"Thanks." He shuts the door behind him. I put my hands in my pockets and turn around to look out the windows. The place will feel smaller once all the furniture's in, I tell myself. And there's no beating the view. The sunsets alone make it worth it. Maybe I'll bring Glimmer out here to come take a look at it…or maybe it's better not too. I don't want her to think too far into anything. Though that's not usually a problem with her. She doesn't really do much thinking all together. The doorbell rings. Must be the movers.

I answer the door and am greeted by a hulk of a man. He's probably 6'3 and weighs over three hundred pounds.

"Seabolt Staging, sign here please."

I sign the proffered clipboard before returning it to the man.

"So, do I have to tell you where I want everything?"

"Nope. Designers sent us the furniture plans. Got'em right here, Mr. Mellark."  
"Oh, Okay. Can I get you guys a water or anything?"

"I'm good for now but maybe I'll take you up on it later."

"Ya, definitely. Whatever you need don't hesitate to ask."

"You got it." I stood in the doorway watching them unloading the truck of stuff. I hope it looked good.

"Mr. Mellark?"

"Yes…" I looked at his name tag, "Brutus?"

"I'm going to need you to move."

"Oh, right."

I watch the guys carry in the stuff. I stick my hand in my pocket and pull out my phone. No new messages. I send off a few texts checking in with some friends before putting it away. I move back over to the window and lean against it. Yep, this place will feel like home in no time.

A google alert breaks into my inbox. I scroll through the headlines with my name and decide if any of them are worth a call to my staff about. Nothing pressing. The new movie announcement in entertainment, the Mellark oil field boom in East Texas, the omega watch ad campaign, and the Forbes list of 30 most influential under 30. I grimace at them and wonder why I'm not smiling. Another email pops in from Bugatti. I'm off the waiting list. Do I want to put in a down payment?...Why not? It's worth it just to get Marvel to shut his mouth every once in awhile. I turn around as they unload the couch and my eyebrows shoot up. Well that's uh… interesting. It's a giant white slab of leather and suede with deep cushions and miniscule backing. It looks like a giant hunk of cheese. Not really conducive for beer drinking, or painting, or relaxing. I give a mental shrug as I walk towards the front door. I need to get out of here. It'll feel better when it's finished. I'm sure it will.

"I just don't understand why they would only cook the fish on the outside." My mother says for the third time tonight.

"That's just something they do here, Judy," my dad says. Mom makes an unattractive clearing noise with her throat. She tends to do this whenever she disapproves of something. Which happens to have been much of tonight.

"Well, I think you guys are really going to like the new place."

"I'm sure we will, son."

I take them around from room to room. I insist they try out the lazy boys in the movie theatre.

"So what do you guys think? "

"It's really something, Peeta. You should enjoy it."

"Thanks dad. Maybe you guys can stay here next time?"

"That's real sweet kiddo but I think your mother would be more comfortable at the Omni. You know, her own space. We don't want to impose..."

"You wouldn't be imposing. I miss you guys."

Dad looks uncomfortable and quickly glances at my mother who is already making her way back to the car.

"Really son. We love you. But it's better this way."

I nodded and swallowed down the lump in my throat. It was only 8:15 and I was planning to spend time with my parents at the house for a couple more hours.

"Well, where would you guys like to go next? We could do coffee? I could take you down the Hollywood walk of fame. Or maybe a comedy club?"

"We're pretty beat son. You know, jet lag and everything." I nodded. Chicago was only a two-hour time difference but that was already pretty late for my parents.

"Alright let me go grab the keys." I run back into the kitchen leaving my parents outside. I grab my keys and turn back towards the front drive where they're waiting.

"It's just ridiculous. It's a monstrosity. What did I do wrong to raise a son to buy a house like this?"

"Judy, I think you're being hard on yourself. The boy's got so much money he doesn't know what to do with it. It can be lonely at the top, maybe he's hopping this will bring him friends."

"Call it what ever you want. It's a sin. A sin I tell you to have this much and give nothing back."

"How do you know he doesn't give anything back? Have you asked him?"

"I've asked around. There have been no anonymous donations to the church or the school where else could he possibly be giving the money to?"

"You know he hated that church and that school. It's the reason he ran away from us in the first place-"

I slam the front door loudly turning around to lock the doors. I've heard enough. We make the drive back to their hotel in silence. I wish my parents good luck with my dad's conference and tell them that I love them. I watch my mother chew my dad's ear off all the way to the elevators.

I have to swallow back whatever it was that was bothering me. I look at the clock, 9:15. I think about where I could go. I don't want to go back to my house or my apartment, at least not yet. I scroll through my phone passing Finnick's name. I call and it goes to voicemail. He and Annie are probably busy, and it wouldn't be right to just stop over. I get to Glimmer's name and hit the call button. It also goes straight to message but Glimmer is different, she wouldn't mind hanging out. I could just drop by and see if she was home.

'On my way to surprise you ;)' I text her before chucking my phone into the holder, and driving towards her house in West L.A.

I get to her apartment and wave at her doorman. He knows me so he waves me right up. When I get to Glimmer's door there's loud rock music playing and the door is open a crack. I push it open and step inside. She must have gotten my text. I get excited wondering what she has in store for me. I start unbuttoning my shirt. I turn the corner into her living room and freeze. There is Glimmer with her ass on the kitchen counter her legs wrapped around some guys waist. He's pushing into her like there's no tomorrow, and sucking her face to quiet her screams. I watch unblinkingly as his hands come up to her shirt and rip the buttons right off flinging them halfway across the room. One of them hits my shoe. She laughs in pleasure before moving to attack his throat. I think about saying something but in the end I just decide to turn around and head out. I pass the coat closet where I see the Louis Vuitton bag I had just given her. I turn its upside down, emptying out her junk and I tuck it under my arm.

As I leave, I feel a numbing start to take over in my chest. It isn't pain. I don't especially care about Glimmer. But all the same I can't identify what I'm feeling. One thing I do know, I'm stuck with myself for the rest of the night. That means only one thing. It's time to call Haymitch.

"Order me my usual and make sure Tony unlocks the back."

"Anything for you, Mr. Zillionaire."

I hang up the phone.

I'm drunk. Shitfaced. Hammered. Sitting on the balcony of my bar singing off key to Lady Gaga.

"Whoa., a whoahao, caught in a bad romance."

"You sound like a dying cat, kid."

"And you smell like a dying cat." I point my empty bottle at myself. I look down, realize it was the wrong way and spin it to face Haymitch. All I manage to do is knock it onto the floor. "Dammit!"

"How is it that the kid who has everything can be so pitiful?"

"Because you can't buy love dipshit and when you got everything you get greedy for the shit no one wants to give you."

"How philosophical." Haymitch replies.

"Ya, well what's your excuse?"

"I don't have time for excuses but how about I give you something free for a change. It's called advice. You're a good kid. You just need to have some sense knocked back into ya. When you stop trying to play Mr. Jones you'll find the people who'll love you for you."

"That's shit advice."

"It beats the hell out of whatever crap your five hundred an hour therapist is giving you."

"Touche'"

"I'm going to lock up your club. You sold out again tonight."

"Whoopee," I say. Haymitch shakes his head and leaves me to myself.

My phone rings and I pick up. "What do you want slut?"

"I really don't think I've done anything to warrant name calling, dude."

Oh it's Finnick not Glimmer. "It's you"

"Are you drunk?" He asks me.

"Are you drunk?"

I hear Finn sigh into the phone. Everyone is sighing around me. Like I'm some annoying kid they have to pander too.

"Peet, where are you? I'll come pick you up."

"The bar."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing worth two shits. I'm a waste of space."

Another sigh. "How can you say that?"

"Because my friend's all turned into my babysitters that's why."

"Everybody loves you, buddy. "

"Nobody loves me because nobody knows me! The people who know me don't love me they just want to stay away from me."

"That's not true. You just...haven't been acting like well, you. We still love you but you don't make it easy to stick around."

"I know. I know. I'm a greedy little dick just say it."

"What brought this on?"

"I need a change, Finn. A real change somewhere where I can disappear to for a while and just …be. I need to be better. Get Better." I get up and looked over the balcony over Sunset blvd. "Will you help me?"

"On one condition." He says.

"What?"

"Don't you dare try to pay me."

"Alright I won't pay you."

"Alright, Annie's got this friend who owns a place in the country."

"Is it a stripper place?" I ask. I envision the playboy mansion but all the girls have on cowboy hats and those plaid shits that only cover their boobs.

"No. It's a knock some sense into you kind of place."

"You think it will be good for me?"

"Give it a couple months. We'll see what happens. You're worth saving buddy."

"Alright…Can I bring a stripper with me?"

Finnick sighs again into the phone. "Be ready to go in an hour."


	3. Gluttony- Just a Little Taste

_**Big time thank you to all my readers thus far. I hope you are enjoying the story and I love hearing from you. **_

_**Special thanks to Lbug84 for her superb beta skills, check out her PIP fic, A grown woman, not a girl, It's awesome.**_

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Gluttony

Peetas pov

"These directions make no fucking sense." Turn right on Hidden Road, pass Left Over Lane bearing right on the left. The place is an eventual left. If you hit the fork you've gone too far.

"I don't know what to tell you, Peet. Stop and ask for directions." Finn said.

"I'm a good ten miles off the highway, there's not a car in- hang on a second-" I turn the bend I spot someone. A damn cute someone.

"Find anything?"

"I found a pair of green short shorts and a brown tank if that's what you're asking."

"Just remember why you're going to this place."

"Got it." I hang up and pull onto the shoulder. I roll down my window. She just keeps running right past me. I get out of the car. "Excuse me miss-"

"I have mace." She yells over her headphones.

"Just need directions." I'm actually running after her.

"Front office is up a half mile on the left. Just ask for Rue."

"Okay, where do I turn?"

"On the left."

"I don't-"

"At the pear tree. Just turn at the pear tree."

"Alright thanks-?"

"Now stop following me."

"Right."

I stop running and realize I've more or less abandoned my car a quarter mile back. I make it back to the car and follow her directions. I make a left at the pear tree and that's when I see the little street sign _On the Left Road_. How clever. I keep driving until I get to a large turnabout. A stone slab pathway leads from the dirt road up to a large house. After I slam the car door I head towards the porch. A slender girl with dark ringlets at midnight skin stands waiting for me on the porch both hands on her hips and a pair of cowboy boots on her feet.

"Howdy. Didn't have to much trouble finding the place, did ya?" "

"Not too bad" I say.

"Happy to hear. Some folks get so mixed up they don't know what way's front ways."

"So why don't you make it clearer? " I ask.

"Now where'd the fun be in that?" I smile. I like this girl. She seems awfully young though to be running this place

"Your mom around?" I ask.

"My mama hasn't been around for going on ten years now. And it sure as sunshine ain't your place to be asking questions. Now why don't you come on in and we'll assign you a bunk."

"Alright."

"Oh and you might as well get a friend to pick up that fancy car of yours. Chicken shit will eat your paint."

"Chickens?" Just then two loud chickens run in front of my path squawking their heads off.

"Boy, what do ya even know about this farm?"

"All I was told was that you could help." She sighs and just bangs through the door muttering something about damn useless Hollywood celebrities. I walk into the office, which is really more of a parlor with wicker chairs, big blue cushions, and a glass desk with a laptop open. "

"Let's see. Mellark, You're on chicken duty this week."

"What?" She sighs.

"Chiy ken doo tee. It means you get to clean up after the chickens."

"Oh ya, sure no problem. How many do you guys have?"

"114"

"You have a hundred and fourteen chickens?" She nods her head slowly. I think she thinks I'm slow.

"Yup and they got to be fed and have there coop raked before we can start collecting the eggs."

"And you guys sell the eggs?" "

"You really have no idea what we do here?" I shake my head a little embarrassed.

"Ever been on a farm?" I shake my head even more embarrassed.

"Annie owes me one." She mutters before setting on a big smile. "We're a sustainable farm and safe haven. We're equal parts working farm and non-profit. We've got paid workers and full time volunteers. Chickens, corn, wheat and rescued animals that they don't have space for in the zoos or shelters but that's Kat's thing. You work the chickens."

"Okay."

"Okay. Breakfast is at 6am if you're on work duty and 8am if you're on market duty. We sell in the farmers markets around the county and make deliveries to the Barios where we also pick up some of our workers."

"Wow amazing. Who started this place?"

"Me and Kat."

"But you're... How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No. Not at all it's just really impressive."

"Right well, come with me I'll show you your bunk room. You start work right away so I hope you had a good night's sleep."

"The best." I squint as we walk back outside. She looks at me with narrowed eyes as though squinting would help her see right past my bullshit. I would be fine without the damn hangover. "Alright, maybe not 'the best.'"

She snorts and walks with me towards another house. This one has two entrances, one for boys one for girls. She swings open the door to the boys' side and starts banging up the stairs.

"Ya'll had better be dressed good and proper!" She shouts. When we get to the landing I look around the empty room. There are two lines of bunk beds each with a little living alcove underneath and a bed on top. "Everyone must be in the fields already." She shrugs. She marches me over to the third bunk on the right. The area was clean and the bed was made with perfect hospital corners.

"This one here is yours. You can make the space your own while you're here but nothing dirty, mind you." I try not to smile. This Rue was like a little general. "Good now drop your bag and throw on your jeans and boots. You're already ten minutes late." She turns around and trudges back down the stairs.

I take a deep breath and rub my face with both hands. This was definitely going to be a change. I remind myself that that was exactly what I ordered as I unzip my gym bag and take out my Nike's. I'm craving a hot shower but I want to make a good impression on my first day so I settle for a cold splash from the sink. Here we go.

There are chickens _everywhere. _If I take even two steps back without looking I get an angry clucking and a peck or two on my ankle. I step into the coop to rake it out and three of them fly straight at me. They're screaming their heads off, and so I am screaming my head off. I end up falling into chicken shit. The first week more or less continues that way. I don't see or breathe anything but chicken. At the end of each day I take a hot shower and fall into my bunk. I eat my meals alone in the bottom of the bunkhouse and curse my phone when I don't get service. Again.

I go to bed without dinner but by one a.m. it was pretty clear I'm not getting back to sleep before I eat something. I drag myself up and mosey downstairs. There's nothing in the bunkhouse canteen. I decide that I could go take a look in the main kitchen. They always have food in there according to the talk from some of the other guys. I navigate the dark path barefoot and hope I don't step in anything. I silently creep onto the porch and open the back door. A shrill meow rings out and has my heart jumping into my throat. I grip the door tightly and look down to see a giant fluffy cat. I can't tell what color it is in the dark but he has a Cheshire grin that makes me smirk.

"You hungry too, buddy?" I open the door farther and follow him into the main room where he promptly disappears from sight. I haven't been in the kitchen yet but I make a right towards the area I assume it to be in. I walk down the hall and see the glow from an open freezer. I move towards it intending to close it. When I round the counter what I see stops me dead in my tracks.

The cute runner is sitting on the floor. Her back is pressed up against the fridge door. She has on an oversized tee shirt and an even tinier pair of shorts then I'd seen her running in last week. In her hands is a gallon of ice cream with another dozen or so open pints around her in a circle. She has a spoon in her hand and a half-gallon of milk next to her. I watch as she pours milk directly into the container and watch it freeze over the top. She takes her spoon and scrapes it straight out popping it on her tongue before slowly closing her lips around the spoon and sucking. I stare at her my mouth open and my eyes wide wishing she'd do that again.

"Chunky monkey, American Dream, Phish food?" She says.

"What?" I feel my cheeks get hot as I realize she sees me. She doesn't even sound surprised. She's holding up a pint-sized container to me.

"Pick your poison," She says.

"Oh." I scan over the different labels noting the various degrees of melting. "I'll take the mint chocolate chip." She nods.

"Spoons are in the top drawer to your right." I grab a spoon and slowly slump down with my back to the counter until I'm seated across from her if on a slight diagonal. She hands me the ice cream pint and puts her own down before using her left hand to grab another pint out of the open freezer.

"So you work here also?" I ask after taking the first blessed bite.

She lifts her eyebrows at me as she sucks her spoon again.

"Something like that." She says when she's done. I had to think back to my question. She was still licking her spoon.

"Oh, you're a volunteer?" She picks up another pint off the floor and pours milk into it ignoring my question. I clear my throat. "I'm a volunteer also. I didn't know if we could come in here but I fell asleep before dinner and got desperate."

"You know what's great about ice cream?" She asks.

How it gets you to lick the spoon like that? I think. Instead I just shake my head.

"What?"

"For that one split second it reminds you how _good_ things can taste." She digs her spoon deep into the container and pops another bite into her mouth.

"Heavy cream and sugar. What's not to love, right?" I say.

Her eyes roam over me. "Right…now that we've established our mutual love of ice cream…let's play a game." I feel my stomach tighten and the need to adjust my pants.

"What sort of game?"

"We'll start slow. How about…'twenty questions?'"

"Alright."

"I go first," she says. "So what's your story?"

"My story?"

"I get to ask the questions." I chuckle and run my hand through my hair.

"Alright. What do I have to lose, right?" Her eyebrows rise as she waits for my answer. "Pretty simple. I grew up an unassuming country kid. Got mad at my parents and moved to the big city after high school to make it big. I did and I never hated anything as much as I hated making it. So I came here to learn how to not hate myself." I grab a spoon full of the chunkey monkey sitting by her feet and push it into my mouth.

"By raking chicken shit?"

"That's the idea." I shrug. "I think it sounds crazy too but hey, if it works."

"Let me know if it works," she says.

"Will do."

"Did you and your parents make up?" Interesting. My next question, were I her, would have been, what did I make it big in.

"As much as you can, when you go out to prove them wrong and it turns out you were right. It takes a lot of pride eating. Funny thing is I can't do anything about it."

"Where are they now?" She takes a spoonful of Cherry Garcia and licks it off slowly.

"Back home, in Chicago. They were just here for my dad's conference. He's a baker."

"Mmmm a baker. I bet you know how to make a bunch of sweet treats."

"Is that a question?" I ask with a smile.

"What can you make?"

"I can make anything you want me to make." My words slow down as I watch her pull the spoon backwards from her mouth. I can't think when she does that.

"What would you make me?"

"Something chocolate." I answer before thinking.

She lets out a surprised laugh.

"Why would you make me something chocolate?"

I want to tell her it's so I can lick it off her skin. So I can taste it on her lips. Instead I clear my throat and say,

"Everybody loves chocolate." Coward.

She smiles at me like she knows what I'm thinking. I take a large spoonful of ice cream and shove it into my mouth to keep myself from saying something stupid.

"What age did you lose you virginity?"

I choke on my ice cream when I hear her question. I take a painful swallow and cough a few times.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"So…what age?" She's doing the spoon-licking thing again.

"18. It was a misguided birthday present from my girlfriend at the time."

"Why misguided?"

"She was attempting to keep me from leaving."

"Why did you feel the need to leave in the first place?" I felt off balance from her rapid questions. She could go from flirty to serious at the blink of an eye.

"I didn't fit in with my community. I went to a religious catholic school and was brought up to accept that things from God and to be happy with what he gave me. Problem was I couldn't accept most of the things they were telling me were wrong. So I left."

"To the city of sin itself." She said. I chuckled. L.A. had definitely been the city of sin for me I wonder if that's how I landed myself into this mess in the first place? Probably best for me to not go home and ask Father Coin.

"How long have you been in Los Angeles?" She asks breaking into my thoughts.

"Well I'm not in L.A. right now." She narrows her eyes at me.

"That's a technicality but fine. How long were you living in L.A. for before you came here?"

"Eight years."

"So...you're twenty six?"

I nod.

"Why don't you have a Chicago accent?"

"I don't know. My parents, maybe? They were both transplants to the city. How many questions you got left?"

"Six. What was your hottest sexual experience?" I feel my eyes bulge.

"Jesus. Some advance warning. You're going to make me choke again." Her smile is mischievous as she brings another spoonful to her lips. "Okay hottest experience… Alright, I got one. A few years ago just as I was really starting to become successful I was invited to this beach house for the weekend. One of the girls there took a liking to me and well.. she…"

"Go on." She says. She was leaning forward now. Her big shirt creating a wave in the front letting me see a hint of her cleavage.

"Well.. she…took me out to the beach one night and she did this strip tease by the fire before she…before we…"

"Fucked?" she asks. I blink a few times looking at her smile. It really is gorgeous.

"Yep. All night." I smile back. She leans over further and takes a spoonful of mint chocolate chip out of my lap.

"I bet we could top that." Her voice is liquid sex and has me picturing her dancing naked by an open fire.

"I bet we could."

"Why don't you kiss me?" Her whisper is so close to my ear that her breath sends shivers down my neck.

"Is that a question?" I whisper back. She just continues to smile and meets my gaze straight on. "I guess I was waiting for an invitation."

"You just got one." She's right in front of me and I can feel the whisper on my lips. It might be a little fast but I can't fight this kind of chemistry. If she pushes me away I can blame it on the ice cream. Oh, just shut up and kiss her, I yell at myself.

I move forward brushing my lips to hers in a slow caress that's meant to tease more then satisfy. I pull away from her with a smile.

"Why don't you try that again?" She asks. I don't need any convincing this time. I spring forward now locking our lips together in a tight embrace. I run my tongue along her lips begging to be let in so I can taste her. Her mouth opens and I moan into it as our tongues caress and collide. My hands go around her waist bringing her closer to me as hers lock around my neck. I can't get her close enough.

Suddenly the lights turn on. It's so bright its almost blinding.

"Katniss? Is that you?" It's Rue's voice.

"Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck." She whispers against my lips. She's still sitting in my lap. She brings her finger to her lips telling me to stay quiet. I jerk my head foreword telling her I understand.

"Ya sweetie it's me. I just came down for a quick snack. I spilled some milk on the floor though so I'll be back up as soon as I finish cleaning."

"Alright. Don't eat to much or you'll never be able to get back to sleep."

"Thanks, Rue. Goodnight."

"Night."

We can hear her footsteps going back up the stairs. Katniss slowly lifts herself off my lap and peeks her head over the counter.

"That was close." She says.

I nod from the ground where I sit with a massive hard on and the perfect view of Katniss's upper thighs framed in her tiny shorts. I move my hand slowly up her leg until she looks down at me. She smiles but moves away.

"I need to get this cleaned up." She's already matching the lids up to the ice creams.

"Right."

I start to help by passing her the closed containers so she can stick them back in the freezer. I stand up once I'm confident I won't be embarrassing myself. The lights are still on and I curse them for being such a mood killer. Nothing like a nice set of fluorescents to remind you of where you are. When we've got the kitchen all cleaned up she turns to me,

"You know I still have one more question."

"And what is that?" I'm already leaning in hoping it'll be for another kiss.

"Will you meet me here again tomorrow night?" She whispers. I back her up against the fridge and put my hand on the door.

"Yes." The word slips out before I give her one last searing kiss for the night.

"Good." She says. I watch as she runs out of my arms and up the stairs barefoot taking her kisses and tiny shorts with her.

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	4. Pride- Chicken Run

_**I want to go ahead and thank all of my readers for taking the time to follow me and give feedback. You guys make writing worthwhile. Also I want to make something clear if it wasn't. Chapter one was the prologue and took place 3 years before Peeta ever came to the farm. Special thanks again to Lbug84 for everything from beta to critic. I hope you guys enjoy. Please don't forget to review after you read. **_

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Peeta's pov

It's the middle of the night. I hear the floor creaking in the bunkhouse and slant my eyes open to see who it could be. I blink a few times and a smile spreads on my face. She's wearing the same tiny shorts from before and she has her finger up to her mouth, telling me to be quiet. She grabs my hand and leads me quietly down from my bunk. We stand chest to chest. She runs her hand down my bicep, and my muscle flexes involuntarily. Her eyes meet mine before she lifts up on her tiptoes to whispers in my ear. "Follow me."

We make it out of the bunkhouse and walk a narrow path towards the garden. She pushes me up against a wall of ivy. The scent of honeysuckle cloys on my senses. She runs her hand down from my cheek to my chest. She pulls away just as her fingers caress the front of my pants. I take a deep breath and I watch her bewitching grey eyes dance with excitement. She takes a few steps back from me and pulls off her tee shirt exposing her perfect round breasts to me. The moonlight highlights her appealing curves and makes me crazy with the need to touch her, taste her.

"I know I sent you away but I just couldn't wait until tomorrow." She says over her shoulder. She's turned around and has her thumbs hooked into the waste band of her shorts. She watches me closely as she pulls them off. When they fall to the floor I swallow hard at the sight of her perfect ass bared to me. I want to reach out and touch her smooth olive skin but I dig my hands deeper into the ivy instead. Patience, I tell myself. She turns around. Her luscious curves glide silently towards me as her fingers slowly unwrap her braid. Suddenly she's in front of me her ebony locks cascading down her shoulders and framing her flawless breasts.

"Touch me." She says. I bring my hands out slowly. They're conflicted on where to go first. I want to feel her everywhere. Mark her completely. My fingers caress her cheek and she nuzzles further into my touch. I love the texture of her silky hair as my other hand winds through it, knotting it slightly so I can pull her closer into a kiss. She still tastes like ice cream and I can't get enough of her sweet taste. I drag my lips from hers and begin to suckle her neck. She lets out a surprised cry and grips my head to her neck. I let my hands wander to her luscious mounds, and I squeeze them gently.

"Ah! Peeta. So good." She moans out as she moves her body closer to mine. I move my mouth lower on her neck and I gently pinch her nipples. She cries out again.

"Are you wet for me?" I ask. I can feel her nodding against me. "Tell me."

"I'm so wet for you. I need you," she cries. I want to taste her. I feel the blood pulsing heavily in my veins as I lower my mouth. I stop for a few heated minutes to worship her breasts. She's breathing hard and her chest is rising and falling hard in a mesmerizing rhythm. I take a perfect cherry bud into my mouth and suck.

"Oh my god. That, That's so good-" She breathes out into the night. "Don't stop." She pulls me closer to her and I use my teeth to lightly worry the sensitive flesh. I'm still fully clothed but I don't know how much longer I'll stay that way. The need to feel her hot and wet against me, on me is getting to be too much to resist.

She must feel the same because I feel her hands move from my head to the hem of my shirt I have to break away momentarily to allow her to lift it over my head. When its off I feel her run her hands up and down my smooth chest running a line from my heart down between my abs.

"You're like a God." She has both hands flat on my abs now and she's sliding them down towards my hip lines. I feel her slide her hand into my sleep pants and let out a gasp of pleasure. Her hand is wrapped perfectly around my length.

"You're so big." She says. I grab her and haul her against my body letting her feel me against her.

"You do that to me. Since the minute I first saw you. I knew I wanted this." I sink down to my knees and turn her slightly so that her back is now against the Ivy. When I get to the juncture of her thighs I breathe in the scent of ice cream, honeysuckle, and something that's pure her. I move my hand to her thigh and lift it up and rest her leg over my shoulder. I breathe heavily, letting the air from my lungs stimulate her. I can see how wet she is. The leaves rustle as she grasps the wall tighter with her hand. She moves her other hand up and locks her fingers into my curls. I look up at her and smile at the sight before me. She stares down at me with lust filled eyes and swollen lips. I know she's eager, just as much as I am. I waste no time plunging my tongue deep into her folds and trailing up to the magic point above her opening.

"Holy-" She starts.

"Just my name. I want to hear you say it every time you scream out. I want to hear who's taking you with his mouth."

I move back to her ruby lips and plunge in letting my tongue dance up and over. I can't get enough of her sweet sticky taste. I move a finger into her and feel her back against me as I curl it towards me.

"Peeta!" She starts moving as I move. I insert another finger and savor how tight she is around me.

"Peeta. I need you inside me. I need you now." I quickly remove my fingers and grab both her inner thighs with my hands. I push her wide open and don't stop until she's pressed up completely against the ivy at her back and me at her front.

"Pull my pants down." I order. She does as she's told and then I'm free to the open air. I have her guide me to her entrance where I don't wait before plunging completely into her making us both cry out in ecstasy.

"Peeta. You're so deep. No one's ever been this deep." My heart swells with pride at her words. I pull out and ram back into her pressing hard against her clit. I want to be the best she's ever had.

"I'm going to ruin you for anyone else." I groan into her neck as I continue the punishing rhythm that has us both shaking in intensity.

"Peeta, Please. It's too much. I can't last much longer." She cries out. Her head is leaning back against the ivy her breasts jutting out from her arching back.

"Not yet. You're not ready yet. You can take more." I say. I shift her slightly so that I hit her just right as I push back into her. I bend my head down lower to take her nipple into my mouth and feel her nails dig into my mouth.

"Peeta! I'm so close. So close. Peeta please." I move even harder into her feeling her tighten around me. I push forward and feel more. The she screams as her climax rips through her. She's gripping me so tightly that I lose the battle with my control and come on a yell against her neck. I'm panting hard when I hear the sounds of an alarm in the distance. I grip her tighter as the alarm gets louder. It's painfully loud now. I open my eyes.

"_Ay Gringo! Turn off the fucking alarm." _

"_Levantate Nino Rico!" _

"_Dude, shut off your alarm!" _

I lean over and slam my hand down on my alarm. Holy hell. A dream. The hottest fucking dream of my life and what do I have to show for it? Three pissed off bunkmates, stained sheets, and sleep shorts pasted to my thigh. Great. Just great. And I have another fifteen hours to go before I get to even see her again. My head falls face forward back into the pillow. This is going to be the longest day of my life.

Katniss pov

I trudge into the small mammals habitat and unlock the metal barn doors. The smell of cedar chips and running water overtakes my senses and I know I made a good choice coming here. Last night was hell. Not only did I spend half of it berating myself for how forward I was but I tossed and turned with the need for release only to get up an hour early and take a cold shower to wash off the guilt. I know I shouldn't feel this way anymore. It's not cheating when your husband's deceased but hell, it stills feels that way every morning after. The real kicker is I didn't even have sex last night. It was just a few kisses. Hot and Fiery kisses but still. I'll be twenty-six next week and my body still craves sex like I'm a teenager. Even after my usual ten-mile run I can't get last night out of my head.

"Good Afternoon, Mathilda." I duck through the open doorway and grab a piece of mango from my pocket. Mathilda spreads her wings and lets out a chatty jitter as I move in closer to her. I feed her the fruit before moving on to pet her furry body. I then take the time to inspect her wings. The silky leather beneath my finger tips calms me down. I inspect the heeling hole in her wing before looking over at her bandaged thumb. It's not every day that someone shows up with a wounded flying fox and no place to put her. Hell, I almost didn't take her but when I looked into those big black eyes full of pain I knew that I couldn't just let them put her to sleep.

"How you feeling, mama?" She spits her now juiced mango out onto the floor.

"Ya, I can relate." I said.

Mathilda's from Australia. She was just minding her own business when a hunter shot her. She fell to the ground and an American tourist found her. I'm not really sure what possessed the woman to pick up a wild and probably sick giant fruit bat but hey, I'd seen crazier things. Through sheer dumb luck, I ended up with her and a belly full of her babies. They've moved onto the San Diego Zoo now but Mathilda's all mine. I give her a parting pat on her back before setting up some enrichment for her and leaving her enclosure. Since today's Friday I'll be sending home the teen volunteers early so they can get back to their parents for the weekend. I walk along the back halls and poke my head into the Golden Tamarind Exhibit. Flavius and Octavia have stolen Gina's scarf again and are taking turns wrapping themselves in it.

"Everything okay in here?" I ask her.

"As well as can be expected. It's Friday so they know this is their last chance to torment me before the weekend." Gina says. Despite being "tormented" she has a big smile on her face.

"You know, once school starts your more then welcome to work a few mornings. You can spend the night in the bunkhouse and I can have the boys drop you off at school on their way in for pickups. Her eyes light up at the news.

"Really?"

"Well ya, your free manual labor kid I'm not going to turn that down."

Her head was bouncing like a bobble head. "I'll ask my mom on my break."

"Great. Just let me know."

"Thanks Katniss!"

I leave the exhibit with a smile on my face. I knew too well what it was like to dread high school. At least now Gina could have something to look forward too.

"Come here you!"

The shout draws me out of my head. It's soon followed by Chicken screams, a crash, and some flying white feathers. I run down the hall. What the hell is going on? We're nowhere near the chicken pens. I stop short around the corner as I see _him_. He's bending over between open crates of feed. There a smattering of chicken crap on his ass but it doesn't do much to lessen the view.

I lean my shoulder against the wall enjoying watching him shake his ass as he struggles for some stupid bird that must have escaped. It's a good thing he didn't chase it towards the lions. Even without their claws that chicken would've been to easy for them to catch.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask.

He turns around. His eyes go wide and his eyebrows rise when he sees me. He smiles before he scratches the back of his neck. His eyes shoot to the corner and then back to me.

"How long have you been standing there?" He asks.

"Oh a few minutes at least." I say back. "Do you want some help over there?"

"No, I've got it." His smile is a little strained. He's clearly been at this for a while.

"You sure about that?"

"Ya, I'm sure." He bends over again making another quick pass at the chicken. It lets out an insulted scream before flying up and into a different corner.

"Really, let me help." I say.

" I've chased him this far. I'm going to grab that chicken." He's as serious as a general going into battle.

"Alrighty then." I stand there quietly and wait.

"Do you have to watch me?" He asks.

"Well… ya." I say with a smile. All he needs is a broom. He huffs out an exasperated breath and dives for the chicken again.

"Son of a Bitch." He kicks the dirt.

"Actually, that's a chicken."

"What?"

"A little animal humor. Don't worry about it." I watch him take a deep breath and crack a smile. I like that smile. It's sexy.

"Sorry, I've had the shittiest morning. Literally. I haven't fallen in the coop this many times since the first day. Then this sucker got out and I chased him all the way here."

"You chased the chicken straight from the coop?"

He nodded.

"That's two miles. I'm impressed." He arched brow and his lips went tight. I wonder if he realizes that I'm serious. "Forget the chicken. He'll make his way back home eventually. Come on I want to show you something."

"You sure we won't get in trouble for leaving him in here?"

"I think we'll be okay. I've got a good relationship with the owner."

"Rue? Ya, I remember from last night. She seemed pretty chill with you being in the freezer and all."

"Right… I should probably tell you-" The door behind me cuts me off from setting Peeta straight.

"Keeper! Keeper! There's something wrong with Bilbo!" Abby has come crashing around the back. I feel my heart beat pickup. Not Bilbo.

"You coming?" I ask him as I start running down the hall.

"What about the chicken?"

"Fuck the chicken!" I wince as I looke over at Abby. She's staring at me like I just grew a second head. I usually try not to curse around my staff.

I round the corner and slow a bit when his exhibit comes into view. Bilbo is our oldest penguin here. He was also the first exotic animal we ever took in. We got him when he was diagnosed with a skin irritation that required more attention then the small zoo in Wyoming was able to handle. No other zoo's wanted him because he was already considered an old man. We took him in thinking he was on his last leg that was almost two years ago. I felt like something was lodged in my throat. This couldn't be the end for him.

I grab my key off my belt and unlock the door without bothering to throw on my jacket. The adrenaline is keeping me warm. When the penguins see me they let out a chorus of shrill screeches.

"Abby, the bucket of fish."

"On it." When they hear Abby coming in swinging the bucket all their heads shift in unison towards her.

"Excuse me, Frodo." I step around my wobbling friend to where Bilbo is standing in the corner of the enclosure.

"Holy hell, it smells like rancid seaweed in here." I ignore Peeta as I bend down on my knees towards Bilbo.

"Hey Friend. How you feeling?"

In answer Bilbo eyes me wearily and ruffles his feathers. Ah. I let out a relieved laugh.

"Is everything okay?" Abby already has tears in her eyes.

"Everything is fine. He's just molting, Abby."

"But he won't eat."

"That's normal." I go over to her bucket and grab out a piece of fish bringing it over to Bilbo.

"I'm sorry. I feel so silly now." She says.

"Don't be. It's always better to ask then assume things are fine. You did the right thing." She gives me a relieved smile. I make my way back over to the door and see Peeta's head sticking through it.

"I just have one question." His face is serious. "Why would you be so cruel as to name midget penguins after Hobbits?"

I laugh a good belly-shaking chuckle. I look at him and can't help another round of laughter. After I finally stop my smile fades. I hadn't laughed like that in a long time. Too long. I don't dwell on it.

"They are not 'midget penguins.' Most of them are Gentoo while Bilbo is a Macaroni."

"Just like Yankee Doodle." He says. I arch my brow but can't help cracking a grin.

"Let's close the door Yankee Doodle before you're chasing another bird down the hallway." I grab the door and catch Abby checking Peeta out as I close it. Her eyes go wide when she's notices me noticing her. I give her a little wink. She can have him when I'm done. And I'll be done sooner rather then later. I always am.

I make a left out of the building and step into the fresh air. It's sweet with the scent of ripening corn and I look forward to the harvest in a few months.

"So…that was pretty awesome. I didn't even know they have penguins here." He said.

"Oh ya, penguins, lions, fruit bats, otters, giraffes, a cheetah, and a polar bear."

"That's nuts. It must get pretty crazy around here."

"Oh, it's a real zoo."

"Very Punny." He says sticking out his tongue.

"So are you over the whole chicken debacle?" I ask. He's wearing a pair of jean cut offs and a white V-neck tee shirt. They look good on him. Who the hell am I kidding? He looks like sex on a stick.

"No way. We're having a rematch tomorrow." I smile.

"So how did you land such an awesome job working with penguins? Or better yet, who do you have to fuck around here to get out of cleaning up the chicken shit?"

I raised my eyebrows. Why, as a matter of fact, me. The harder you fuck me the better the job, I think. If we were still in the kitchen I would probably have just said it but now I'm a little less brave. Besides it's better if he thinks I'm a volunteer. He won't think too much into this.

"I have a degree in animal science. The animal specialists tend to get better jobs than the Easter bunnies."

"Hey, hey, I resent that. The Easter bunny hides the eggs. I am the lucky soul who gets to hunt for them." He says.

"My mistake then."

"So I was thinking. Last night was probably the best Ice cream party I've ever been too."

"Oh. That. Right." Little does he know that that ice cream party is a weekly occurrence I call my therapy session.

"I was thinking that maybe we could mix it up."

"What did you have in mind?" I look him up and down. He's being a little forward considering it's before four but hey? Who am I to complain?

"I'd like to start slow maybe take you out for some ice cream in a cone or a milkshake. If we start feeling really frisky maybe I'll spring for a root beer float."

Okay this guy was charming. Charming can be fun, _and dangerous._ That little voice inside me says. I tell it to shut up so I can just get laid. Besides the guy's harmless. According to Rue, He's a Hollywood playboy or something like that. Guys like him don't attempt to date farm girls. Fucking them is another story, luckily for me.

"So funny you should mention it. I've been craving a thick, creamy root beer float." His mouth falls open a little. I smile as I meet his eyes and purposefully draw my bottom lip in between my teeth. He swallows. I like watching his adam's apple dip in his throat.

"I'm pretty sure I just fell in love with you." His face is completely straight and even though I know he's not serious I feel the need to run. I push him back and take off down the hill.

"Race you to the chicken coops!" I let the wind push my hair back and I spread my arms out wide like a bird the way Rue always does. I hear him coming up behind me. I can beat him easily but if I slow down there's a pretty good chance he'll put those hands on me. I smile when I decide to let him catch me.

For the moment, at least.

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	5. Lust- Night in the Wild

**Thank you thank you for all the reviews and feedback! It keeps me going! Special thanks to Lbug84, beta extraordinaire. Check me out on tumblr at lulubee1234 dot tumblr dot com. I hope you all enjoy the chapter please remember to read and review!**

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Katniss's pov

"Where are you going lookin' all pretty?" Rue was standing in the bathroom doorway in the blue PJ's with bumble bees on them (her favorites) and a can of coke with the straw popping out the top in her hand.

"I'm going to go get myself a root beer float."

"Is that code for something?" Her eyes took in my fitted top and my ass hugging jeans.

"It better be." She laughs.

"I really wish you'd just start dating again like a normal person."

"I date!" I said defensively. I do, I just do it faster then most people.

"You do not date, Katniss. You hook up. Who are you trying to fool?"

"Dating is just another way of saying hooking up."

"We've talked about this. Dating can involve hooking up if there's hope to advance it into a relationship. You like your men like you like your milk, with a 'use by' date."

"Rue!"

"It's true, Kat! It's been three years I'm not saying you need to go find yourself another husband but at least be open to spending more then one or two nights with a man."

"And what then? I spend a few months with him, he wants more, I say no, and then where are we left, Rue? Right back in the dark days."

Rue looks down at the floor with a frown. She knows better then anybody how I was back then. We'd taken to calling the months after the accident the dark days. I had met Rue on my flight out of town. She was seated next to me and asked me about Prim's furball, Buttercup. I had offered the kitten to her on the spot. She laughed and said she couldn't take her. Rue was running away just like me. She was just running for completely different reasons.

She had been fourteen at the time and had worn a sweatshirt to hide the bad bruises on her face. I'd been just twenty-two myself. Like me, she picked the cheapest ticket that was as far away from home as possible. We spoke the whole flight neither of us giving away too many personal details but when I asked her where she was planning on staying when she got to California she said she didn't know. Neither had I. When we both got off the plane, me with the cat and the carry on, her with only a ratty backpack I threw out the idea of splitting a room. She seemed trustworthy and I didn't have much to steal as it was. She wearily took my offer and we've been attached ever since. She is the only person in my new life who knows my past and I am the only one who knows hers. We're all each other has.

"No one's going back to the dark days. Come on Katniss…"

"How about this I'll start dating when you go back to high school?"

"I told you I'd get my GED. Why are you still harping on this?"

"You don't get to go to prom with a GED."

"And you don't get to say you've moved on if you never have another relationship!"

"Fine. We're tabling this debate. Now go watch Glee or whatever the hell it is you watch."

Rue stuck out her tongue. She turns to walk away. Just before she leaves she turns back around and gives me a kiss on the cheek.  
"I annoy you because I love you," she says.

"I love you too."

I go to meet him out by the front drive. It's already after nine but the night is still warm. I savor the cool breeze as it blows the few strands of hair not in my ponytail. I used to braid it way back when but once they were gone it would just remind me of Prim playing with the ends or Gale taking it down. I cut it all off when I'd first come to California. I was desperate to leave behind anything that reminded me of them. It's grown back since but not quite as long as it once was. I shake off the thoughts immediately. How could Rue possibly suggest that I look for an actual relationship? I don't want to get remarried, I never want to have any more children, and I definitely never want to feel about somebody the way I felt about them. The system I have now is much better. No strings, just gratification.

I think about where the best place is to go with Peeta. Some of my usual spots would probably be fine. I still had that little empty beach house twenty minutes out. That was my usual place and it'd do fine for tonight. I stop in my tracks when I see him. He's in a pair of dark wash jeans with an un-tucked white button down hiding the solid planes of his chest. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows exposing his golden forearms. I love the outfit and I can't wait to get him out of it.

"Hi Beautiful," he says.

I mentally roll my eyes at the endearment. I have a nice body but I'm aware I'm no beauty. Still the compliment is appreciated even if he is just saying it to get into my pants.

"Ready to go?" I pull my keys out of my back pocket and head towards my pickup truck. I feel his hand on my arm. I turn to look at him.

"Actually I was hoping we could take my car. And this is for you." I'm taken aback when he pulls out a dandelion from behind his back.

"Well that's a new one." I eye the flower/weed. In the past I've been given roses, chocolates, one guy even brought me a balloon but this was definitely a first.

"Make a wish." He brings it up towards my mouth. I look at the delicate top as soft as cotton and decide to just go with it. It's a cute touch I have to admit.

'I wish that I'll find peace.' I think before blowing as hard as I can. I watch the thousands of tiny parachutes dance and glide through the air. I smile then chuckle quietly to myself.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

"I'm just thinking about the talking to Rue's going to give me when there's dandelions all over her front yard next week."

He lets out another one of his thigh clenching smiles. "I heard her call you Katniss last night. Is that what you prefer to be called?"

"Is that your subtle way of asking me for my name?" He chuckles and rubs his hand behind his neck.

"Guilty. I'm Peeta by the way. Peeta Mellark. I guess we sort of went about this backwards, huh?" I shrug.

"Well it's nice to meet you…Peeta." His eyes are on my lips as I slowly say his name.

I watch his tongue poke out and wet his lips. I can't help the reaction it has on me. I think he's going to kiss me and I lean in expectantly. He ends up just smiling again and putting a hand on my back leading me in the opposite direction of my car.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Escorting my date to my car," he says.

I smirk when he calls me his date. See Rue, I told you I date. Usually I like to be the one to drive so I can make a quick escape if need be but this isn't that big of a deal either. If he falls asleep I can just walk myself home when we're done. It's one of the nice things about living in the country.

We round one of the big oak trees in the front yard. Parked right in front of us is this ridiculously expensive car. I have no idea what make or model it is exactly but it's one of those cars that you just _know_. Uch, I forgot for a minute he was a city boy. I regret not taking my car now.

He opens the door for me and I get in. He closes my door and then goes around to the driver's side. I have to admit these seats are damn comfortable. He gets in and starts the car.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Yep. After we leave the lane I'll give you directions," I say.

"I know where I'm going."

"Then by all means, Mellark." This is different. I shrug it off. He must have booked a hotel room already or something. We take off down the drive and he turns on the radio. Jack Johnson is playing softly on low.

"So tell me about yourself, Katniss."

"Not much to tell."

"There's got to be a little more that I don't know. Not that I'm not already fascinated by Katniss with the animal science degree, friend of Penguins."

"I'm friends with the fruit bats and the monkeys too." He laughs.

"So where are we going?" I ask. He notices my less than stellar conversation change but he doesn't call me out on it.

"It's a surprise. I think you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will."

After forty-five minutes I start to get kind of antsy. The conversation has flowed nicely so far. Small talk mostly, he blessedly hasn't tried to ask me any more personal questions though he did ask for my last name. He's all right, for a city boy. We're definitely in L.A. so I figure he's taking me to some swanky hotel. They have perfectly nice places in Encino and Calabasas, which is only 15 minutes away from the farm but sex was sex so I wasn't going to complain. If I had to get one of the delivery guys to pick me up tomorrow morning, I could.

He turns into a dark drive and parks the car. We get out and it's still pitch black and everything is silent. This is very creepy. Nothing is silent in Los Angeles.

"Your not planning to kill me out here, are you?" He just laughs and takes my hand in his.

"Where's your sense of adventure?" He asks me.

"I left it at home with my mace," I say.

He laughs again before pulling me closer to him and putting his arm around me. He brings his mouth towards my ear and says,

"You're so sexy when you're nervous." His breath pushes chills from my neck all the way down my back until they make me throb with want. I'm about to beg him to just hurry up and take me somewhere with a locked door when I look up. My jaw goes slack. Huge letters spell out the words LOS ANGELES ZOO. I stop in my tracks and look at him.

"You're taking me to the zoo?"

"What were you expecting?" He has a knowing smile on his face.

"You're a kinky bastard." I say.

He laughs and pulls me closer to him. I feel him bite down lightly on my earlobe and I moan a little. He smiles when he hears it.

"I know how much you like animals so I figured I couldn't fuck it up if I took you here."

He wasted his time worrying. He couldn't have fucked this up if he'd taken me to a motel 6. I had to admit though I was kind of impressed he put so much thought into this….or maybe he didn't.  
"The zoo closed at six."

"Maybe for everybody else, but you're special." I'm speechless as I see the front gate open. A staff member with the zoo's logo on his polo shirt is holding it open with a smile on his face.

"Mr. Mellark, It's a pleasure to welcome you and you're lovely guest to the L.A. Zoo. I'm Collin, I'll be escorting you to your private tent this evening and will be here should you have any questions."

"Nice to meet you, Collin. We're looking forward to seeing what you have set up."

We follow him into the park. The Zoo is mysterious and exotic at night. The darkness hides the cages from view so it feels like we are walking through a lush jungle surrounded by the sounds of the wild animals just out of view. There are candles lit along the pathway. I didn't even know you could do this at the zoo. I'm mystified. How did Peeta manage to pull this off in less then a day? He was working and there's shitty cell service.

"All of the animals are still in their exhibits so feel free to look around." Collin says. I nod not really paying attention as my eyes take in the sensory overload. I let out a breathy laugh as I try to comprehend what comes into view. The candle pathway comes to a finale at an open silk tent. Inside the tent there are low chaise lounges and large silk floor pillows. There's a bottle of champagne and trays of food I can see from this distance.

"Please enjoy your night. Should you need anything from me I will be stationed at the front of the zoo. Feel free to reach me at the following number." Collin says. I don't turn to look at him though I keep staring at the exquisite paradise in front of me.

"Thank you Collin, I will be sure to call if we need anything," I hear Peeta say. I feel him before I hear him. He's standing behind me. He's very close. "So what do you think?" He says into my ear.

"I think you're out of your mind." His hand goes around my waste. I can hear his smile. "Come on, I'm starving, let's eat."

He pulls me into the tent and we flop down on the floor pillows. He opens up a tray and reveals a platter of silvery black half shells.

"I hope you like oysters." I don't just like oysters I love them. He pours each of us a glass of champagne and raises his flute in a toast.

"What should we toast too?" When he looks at me I feel something surprising. It makes me nervous. This night isn't going at all as I expected it would.

"To a wild night," I say. There you go Kat, take control. Remind him what you're here for.

"A wild night." He clinks our glasses together before we both take a sip. I down my glass in a few quick gulps. I use my tongue to catch the couple of drops on my lips. He notices. He's staring at my mouth. Good.

"Okay, I'm dying to know. How the hell did you pull this off?"

He shrugs. "I have a couple of assistants who don't have much to do right now. I told them to throw something together. I mentioned you liked animals."

His statement was so nonchalant that I could tell he was lying. He put a lot of time into this and he wasn't going to tell me how he did it. Why would he go to so much trouble just to sleep with me? I made it more then clear last night that I was willing and all he did then was just show up in my kitchen.

"These are an aphrodisiac you know." I bring an oyster to my lips and suck it down greedily.

"They must be because I'm dying just watching you eat them," he says before lifting one to his mouth. We flirt while we eat. He makes up excuses to touch me and I moan around a forkful of lamb stew he feeds me. It's pretty clear that we're both hot and bothered. I know I'm ready to just push him back and attack him at this point.

"Let's go for a walk," he says.

"A walk?"

"Ya, the whole zoo to ourselves I want to see how much you know, animal lady." I blink a few times.

"Alright, let's do this chicken butt." He makes a mock offended face but doesn't hold it for long. He helps me up and we leave the secluded safety of the tent. The night feels even more exotic then it did when I first got here. I don't know if it's the champagne or just the night in general but I am just about ready to burst with need. He's just so attractive. And nice. And smart. And funny.

We enter into the chimps exhibit and see a few of the monkeys still out, just like Collin promised. The female is poking and pushing the male. He looks like he's just ignoring her but then-

"Holy shit. Are they doing what I think they're doing?" Peeta says next to me. I laugh at his expression. The male gets up and pushes the female over, and exposes himself before promptly getting on top of her.

"Yep, they are definitely fucking right now."

"I didn't know they did it like…"

"Like we do it?"

He looks at me. That panty-melting smile is on his face and he's taking a few steps towards me. My back hits a wall and it pushes the breath out of my lungs. I have to fight to keep filling them with air.

"Is that how you like to do it?" He asks. His face is only inches from mine.

"That one's good but it's not my favorite."

"I want to do the one that's your favorite."

"I'm sure we can arrange that." My last word gets swallowed as he crashes his lips onto mine. I bring my hands up to steady myself with his wide shoulders. I feel his hands squeezing my hips. They move slowly up my waist towards my shoulders before taking time to caress my neck before cupping my face. All the while our lips stay in a passionate lock. Our tongues fight for dominance even though we don't care who wins.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he says when he pulls away for a second.

"Stop talking," I tell him. I pull him back to me swinging my arms around his neck. Our chests press together and the friction is already driving me crazy even through our clothes. His fingers smooth out under my shirt. He leaves chills on my skin as he moves his hand over it. I need to feel him. I move my hand down his chest and under his shirt. I feel his hard abs and almost moan at the contact.

One of the chimps makes a loud screeching noise and breaks us out of our embrace.

"Take me somewhere," I tell him. He's breathing hard against me but I feel him nod in agreement. We walk out of the exhibit. It's darker out here but the candles give us enough light to see. We don't walk long before I hear him curse under his breath and grab me. He pulls me up against him and I struggle to get closer. The fire is burning inside me. The heat is unbearable. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and lock my arms around his neck. He walks with me and I attack his neck with my mouth. He squeezes my ass tighter against him and I can feel how ready he is for me. I crave the feel of him and rub my center against him. I curse myself for wearing jeans. If I were wearing a dress this would be much easier.

"Tell me you want me." His voice is husky. I whimper. "Tell me."

"I want you. I want you so bad." We reach the tent both of us panting. Drops of perspiration slide down Peeta's neck and I bend my head again to lick them up.  
"Fuck, I can't make it to the car."

"I don't want you too."

He lies me down on one of the chaises in the tent and pulls away.

"What where are you-"

"Closing the curtains." I watch him lift off his heels and draw the curtains hiding us from view. He turns around quickly and stalks over to me. I can see the determination in his eyes. He puts a knee on the chaise in between mine and bends down to place a searing kiss to my lips. I'm having a hard time breathing. My lungs burn as I draw in each heavy breath.

"Where should I start do you think?" He's running his hands up and down my body the hunger apparent in every move of his fingertips. "I want to make love to every inch of you." I swallow hard. He's teasing me now. He knows how strong this need is and he's torturing me with the knowledge.

"Please touch me." My words are half plea, half cry. He crashes his lips down on mine as I feel his hand close around my breast. I sigh in relief.

"I'm taking this off." It's not a question and he already has my top half way over my head by the time I register his words.

He eyes my black lacy bra with lust before bringing his head to the same level as it. He pops open my bra clasp without taking his eyes off me. He pulls the straps slowly off my shoulders. When I'm fully exposed to him he lets out a moan of appreciation. I arch my back as he takes them into his palms and cups them. I cry out when he takes one of my dusky red buds into his mouth. My hand flies up to hold onto his blonde curls. He runs his tongue around the center, once, twice before flicking it back and forth. I feel my body sliding to lie down. Instinctively moving closer to my ultimate desire. Just when I get used to the glorious sensation he bites down. My hips fly into his pelvis at the shock to my system.

"Please. I need more." I cry out. He smiles around me before lifting up temporarily.

"I can give you more." He moves his head over to my other nipple and begins that same sweet torture. He knows exactly what he's doing making me wait. He's building me to an impossible degree before I've even gotten my pants off.

"Take your jeans off."

His command is a straight shot of arousal to my core. I quickly comply working the button open and pulling down the zipper. He takes over the task of moving them down my legs. I change directions and start to unbutton his shirt. I bring my mouth up to suck on every newly exposed piece of flesh. I get them all undone by the time he's gets the jeans to my feet. He freezes at the edge of the chaise. His eyes are scanning every inch of me in my black silk thong. I can't get enough of him either. His scored abs are perfectly shadowed in the dim lighting of the tent. My mouth goes dry as I follow the line of blonde hair from his belly button down into his jeans. I can see the beginning of his hip lines and get up onto my knees to push off the shirt and expose more of him. I run my hands down his completely exposed chest and glide my fingertips along the sculpted hiplines I crave. Peeta takes my mouth again with his. I feel a pull on my underwear and hear a telling rip.

"I'll buy you more," he says. He moves his mouth to my neck and glides it up and down the column of my throat. My whimpering has grown louder and I have to clutch his muscular arms to keep myself upright.

"Spread your legs." His hand is already at my upper thighs pushing them apart. I help him and gasp when he plunges a finger into my heat. I cry out.

"You're dripping wet."

He inserts a second finger and brings his thumb up to rub my clit. He thrusts his fingers in and out of me until I'm riding his hand. When he curls the tips I clench around him. He squeezes my nipple and it's the final push I need to fall apart. He keeps working as I ride through my climax, my body shaking from the intense pleasure.

"Good?" He asks. I nod. "It's only the beginning." He says.

He unbuttons his jeans slowly never taking his eyes off me. The intense orgasm he gave me has done nothing to sate my desire. He has only fueled the fire. I am more ravenous then ever. I bring my hands up, draw down his zipper, and dip them into his boxer briefs. I grasp him in my hand. I pull him out and feel my mouth drop. He's bigger than I thought. I stroke his impressive shape and watch his own lips part.

"If you don't stop this is going to end too soon." He says. "Tell me your favorite." For a second I don't understand but as soon as I grasp his meaning I smile.

"I like to be on top." His eyes light up with a twinkle.

"What a coincidence that's my favorite too." I stop stroking him and he pulls me down to the chaise with him. He kisses me thoroughly on the mouth. I feel him reach over and grab a condom from his discarded shorts. He rips the package open with his teeth and rolls it down his shaft.

"Ride me, gorgeous." He brings his hands to my hips and guides me over him. I tease his tip with my soft heat coating him with my moisture. "Now." He pushes my hips down and in one hard thrust he's impaled me on top of him. We both let out a cry of satisfaction at finally being joined. I adjust to the feel of something so big inside me and relish the full feeling. Once I'm ready he helps guide me up and down his length. The rhythm is a sweet torture and we both cry out with each downward thrust. Soon we grow too hungry for more and I pick up my pace. He fondles my breasts as I grind against his base sending shocks of pleasure in every direction.

"I'm so close." My cries are frantic as I climb past my highest point to a peak I didn't know existed. He grabs my ass with both his hands and holds me down on him while we both continue to buck. The added pressure is too much and my body shatters around him. He bites down on a nipple as I begin to come and the added force sends rockets shooting into the sky. I feel him buck hard and the next moment he's clenching beneath me and screaming out my name. We are both quiet for a long time afterwards. I can't wrap my mind around the earthmoving connection we just had. He's still inside me and for the first time I have no desire to climb off. His forehead is resting above my chest both of us moving from our heavy panting.

"Is it just me or was that-?" He starts.

"It's not just you."

"That was-"

"I know."

"Marry me." Lucky for him my muscles are too tired to tense up. Instead I look down at him with heavy eyelids. I disconnect us and roll over onto the oversized lounge. I am luminescent from the candlelight bouncing off my sweaty skin. Peeta's arm comes around me and pulls me to his side. He kisses my forehead. I don't pull away. In the back of my mind I can hear that little voice yelling at me to get up and make him take me home. I tell it to fuck off. I can shut my eyes for a little while. No big deal.

I wake up to the sounds of waves piercing the shore. I'm surrounded by silky warmth and feel a smile spread on my face. I didn't have any nightmares last night. Last night. I feel everything come flooding back. Peeta. The Dandelion. The Zoo. The mind blowing sex. And then- I open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I have no idea where I am. I lift up and feel a hand around my waist. Peeta is next to me. He's fast asleep his golden back exposed to the dim light of the rising sun. He is definitely naked too. I spy our clothing scattered all over the floor and close my eyes in mortification. I spent the night at Peeta's.

Good Lord. What have I done?

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**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! **


	6. Sloth- The Dark Days

_**WOW! Thank you so much for the great feedback I love hearing from all of you and it makes me so happy to hear you are all enjoying the story. Please feel free to send me any questions or comments you have about the story and I'll be happy to answer them. You can also follow me on Tumblr at lulubee1234 dot tumblr dot com. Special thanks to the awesome Lbug84 for betaing this story. Be sure to check out her awesome fics I highly recommend them. **_

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**Katniss pov**

"_For God's sakes Katniss, you didn't tell me!" _

"_I did too tell you. I texted you!" _

"_But you must have known I didn't see it. I've just been sitting here while you were getting ready!" _

"_You saw me getting ready. Between that and the text, I assumed you knew!" _

"_Then why wouldn't I have been getting ready?" _

"_I just thought you were going to go dressed as you are!" _

_He sighed loudly."You don't communicate with me!" _

"_I do too! And I texted you!" _

"_But I didn't see it!" _

"_You responded to it!" _

"_Will you just agree that I didn't know?" _

"_Okay, you didn't know. Now, can you please get dressed? This is just making us even later!" _

"_No! I won't get dressed until you tell me that it's not my fault!" _

"_I'm not saying it's your fault!" _

"_You not saying it's not my fault!" _

"_Gale, just go getting fucking dressed. This is ridiculous!" I slam the bedroom door behind me as I dry the tears off my face. I try to get myself under control. We have this "meet the parents" thing at Prim's new school. It's a very big deal. I scroll through my phone and find the texts and the notification that Gale had read it. I roll my eyes. This is so typical of him. I hear my doorbell ring and I go answer it. It must be Jo. She is going to give us a lift. _

_I open the door and see her all dressed up. _

"_Hey? Is everything okay? I was honking the horn a lot." I see Jo and am humiliated when I feel the tears spring back to my eyes and I start hysterically crying. Jo quickly comes in and pulls me towards the study and closes the door a bit. _

"_It's okay, sweetie. Shh. Really. Come on Kat. It'll be okay. Please don't cry." I hear the telltale sign of Jo starting to cry too. The unexpected and rare noise jolts me out of my tears. I need to be strong for her. _

"_It'll be okay." She says pulling herself together. She gives me a kiss on the head hard. "I love you. Take as much time as you need. I'll make up a good excuse." She doesn't stick around and heads out the front door. _

_I dry my tears and put myself back together. Jo more then anyone understands how I feel and how difficult of a situation I'm in. Gale and I love each other very much. But, we also have horrible house shaking fights over nothing and everything. I've thought about what my life would be like if I just left him. But then I think of Prim. _

_Prim is Gale's daughter. Gale and I were best friends in high school closer then close. When he knocked up Madge, his high school girlfriend, I was the first one he told and the one he cried to when she said she would be keeping the baby. He loved her. They married and lived together for eight months. It was a scandal but they went with the whole "Hey! We're two kids in love" routine and both seemed pretty happy for the most part. _

_No one knew about Madge's aneurysm. She had always been a very healthy person, athletic even, and we could never have predicted that the stress of the contraction would cause it to rupture. Madge died giving birth to Primrose, the daughter she named after her favorite flower. _

_Gale was a mess. He was worse than a mess. He was an 18 year old father who moved back home with his mother bringing with him a newborn. He was planning on going to college and working part time while Madge's parents supported them. Madge would have stayed home with the baby and taken classes online. They had it all figured out …until the unexpected happened. _

_Gale's mother worked full time as a nurse and wasn't able to care for Prim as much as Gale needed. He was drowning in grief, work, school and his baby daughter. He needed help. So I stepped up. I transferred to the local city school and moved in with the Hawthorne's. I fell in love with Prim, deeply and madly. She was so beautiful and so pure. All blonde hair and blue eyes like her mother, nothing like Gale and I. We somehow turned into a family. We moved in together - It just made sense since Gale's siblings still lived at home and there were just too many people in the house. We started off in separate bedrooms. There had never been anything romantic between Gale and I. Until one night when Prim was ten months old. After I fed and put her to sleep, I turned around to see Gale with tears in his eyes. _

"_You're the most amazing person I've ever met," he said. _

_Then he leaned in, and kissed me. I was surprised. His kiss was comforting…like a bear hug. There wasn't a zing or anything of that nature but that was all in the books and the movies. That wasn't real life. _

_We have fallen into a nice routine. The sex is pretty good even. It was a natural step to get married. So, we did. Prim grew from a baby angel to a miniature one. I officially adopted her at the age of 21, shortly after Gale and I married. We worked our way into a cute 3 bedroom/2.5 bah house in Panem, Texas a nice little suburb. Gale commutes to the city, and I work as a large animal vet. We've been married for a little over 3 years. Prim will be starting Pre-K at the Kensington Preparatory School for Boys and Girls. It is to this meeting that we are late. We tend to be late a lot. I hate it. _

_I don't know when Gale and I began to fight. Maybe it was all the late nights he spent in the city.. Maybe it was the constant ebb and flow of commuting to rural farms. We both love our jobs, but they seem to be pulling us farther away from each other. We have to fix this. I love him too much to lose him._

"_Mommy why are you crying?" Prim comes over to me clutching a stuffed bear in her hand. _

"_Mommy just got a little boo boo baby, will you kiss it for me?"_

_I lift her up and she gives me a drawn out kiss on the cheek. Her hair is braided in two perfectly straight tails and she has little white ribbons in her hair. She has on a ridiculously expensive blue and white dress that Gale insisted was worthwhile because it gives the 'right impression.' _

_Gale comes out of our bedroom as he ties his tie._

"_Ready to go, girls?" He's back to all smiles. If I were to ask him if he's okay he would just pretend like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. _

_"Ready, Daddy," Prim says. _

_I grab some dolls for Prim to play with as we leave through the garage. I put her into our car, buckle her into her car seat, and give her the dolls to play with. Gale turns on radio Disney for her and she sits happily occupied in the back seat. _

"_Are you mad at me?" Gale asked. _

"_No." Yes. _

"_Are you just saying that?"_

"_No." Yes. _

"_Are you upset? Sad?" Yes. Yes. And you forgot to mention tired. _

"_No, really Gale. I'm fine. Lets just have a nice night." _

"_Alright. But if you're lying then we're going to pull over and talk about it now." _

"_It's fine, Gale." _

_Something whizzes by Gale's head and falls under the steering wheel. _

"_Daddy! My dolly." Prim cries from the back. _

"_Prim you shouldn't have thrown your doll in the first place. You're just going to have to wait." I say._

"_It's fine Katniss I can get it with one-"_

"_Gale I'd rather you didn't-" _

_I feel the impact like a sledge hammer to the brain. Everything goes black. _

_I wake up a week later in the hospital. Jo is holding my hand, her head is down, and she's asleep beside me. _

"_What-" I ask. My throat is hoarse and dry. It's burning. _

"_Oh, thank god. You're awake." Jo said. She jolts up and had starts to cry. _

"_What…happened?" I ask her. _

_Jo shakes her head and tears stream down her face. "There was a drunk driver, Kat. He, he, didn't see you guys and he, he sideswiped the car." _

"_Gale?" I ask._

_She shakes her head again. "I'm sorry, sweetie." _

_A pain like I had never felt shoots through me and I start to cry. _

"_Prim?" I choke out her name, too terrified to hear the answer. _

_I already know what she's going to say. But she can't find the words. Jo just starts to cry harder, shaking her head. _

"_She didn't make it. I'm. I'm so sorry." I feel myself choking. I feel the tears and the fear and the sorrow literally choking me to death. I can't scream. I vaguely hear Jo calling for nurses. I can see white blobs in my vision moving around, shining a light in my eye until finally …darkness. _

_I have a severe concussion but nothing that would be permanently wrong. Nothing to show I was there. No scars. At least none physically. The medical examiner explained that Gale had his seat belt on, but not buckled. He's most likely took it off to grab Prim's toy. They believe he died on contact. Prim was alive when they rescued her but her injuries were too severe and she didn't pull through surgery. _

I blink my eyes open and find myself in my bed, in my room in California on my farm. Prim has been dead for three years. Almost as many years as she was in my life. I look at the clock, it's 4:30 in the afternoon. I hear a soft knock on the door and Rue pops her head in.

"Hey, good you're awake."

"How long have I been out for?" I ask.

"Three days." She says.

I nod. Not as long as in the dark days, but still much longer than usual. Much longer than I wanted.

"Do you want to try getting up? Coming downstairs?"

"Maybe in a little while," I say. Rue frowns but nods her head. I close my eyes. I can get a few more minutes.

I wake up again and the clock says it's noon. I sit up. I pick up my cell and see some texts from some of my old flames asking if I want to hang out. I ignore them. I dial Rue.

"Hey! You're up."

"I'm up. Where are you?" Is someone covering my shift?" I ask.

"I'm on my way into town and I called Patricia to cover for you."

"Did I really sleep through the night?"

"Kaniss, you've slept a week, Listen though,. Get up, get dressed, and shower, I have a surprise for you when I get back."

"Okay, Prim," I say.

"Rue, honey. It's Rue." I close my eyes and bring my hands to my face.  
"I know that. Sorry, Rue."

"Get dressed." She hangs up the phone.

I sit up in bed but I can't bring myself to get up. I hear the front door open and someone calling my name. Then I can hear them calling for Rue. I hear footsteps climb the stairs and someone slowly opening doors. My door opens and I blink a few times to see Peeta standing there.

"Katniss!" He starts moving into the room towards my bed. I just stare at him. He really is beautiful. But, why is he here?

"What're you doing here?" I ask him.

"I came to find you. I've been worried about you."

"Why would you be worried?" I ask.

"You…you disappeared on me for a week. I didn't know where you were or how to find you."

"Then how did you find me?"

"I found the penguin girl. Emily? Abby? She told me you lived here and that you're sick."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you tell me that this was your farm?"

"It never came up."

He gives me a look. He's not going to bother using words to call me out on my lies.

"Are you feeling better?" He sits on the edge of the bed. He rubs his hand gently over my blanket-covered ankle.

"A little." I want him to leave. I want him to stay. I don't know what I want.

"Well what can I do to make you better? Can I get you something? Chicken soup? Ice cream?" He smiles.

"I'm okay for now."

"I missed you," he says.

Oh, shit.

"Wanted another round, huh?" I try to smile flirtatiously but I worry I just look weak.

"I definitely want another round. That night was…incredible. But I meant you. I just missed being around you."

"Oh."

"Would you mind if I hang out with you here for awhile?"

"Don't you have to work?"

"It's Sunday. I get the afternoon off."

"Oh."

"Is that a yes?"

"If you want to, I guess."

The little voice in my head screams how bad of an idea this is but I tell it to shut up. I'm not going to throw years of careful planning out the window in one afternoon. If he wants to stay, he can stay. It's not like I was the one who missed him.

"…and that's when Rye screams." I laugh at the end of his story. His brothers sound funny. Peeta's shoes sit discarded by my bed. He's lying down next to me playing with my hair and sharing my covers.

"Where's Rye now?" I ask.

Peeta's face hardens a little and he looks away from me. "He, uh, he died when I was in high school. He died of alcohol poisoning during a frat party. He was pledging." My mouth opens and I feel my breath leave my body.

"Peeta, I'm so sorry." He nods.

"Were you close?" He nods again.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, you don't need to hear about sad stuff like that." He's still looking away from me. I put my hand on his cheek and pull it towards me so I can look into his eyes.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I know what it's like-" I swallow. "Losing people you're close too."

"I really like you, Katniss." His voice is soft and soothing.

"I like you too."

_Katniss! _ The little voice screams at me. What? I do like him. _ This is risky, _it warns_. _Just a little while longer, I tell it. Then we stop talking because Peeta is licking his lips and leaning down to kiss me. I meet him half way and our lips lock together. His hand caresses my face while the other wraps around my waist to pull us closer together. I don't fight against him as his tongue gains entry to my mouth. The feel and taste of him around me, in my bed, is so comforting that I never want to let him go.

Someone clears their throat from the other side of the room. We break apart and I turn my head. My cheeks are already blazing. Rue is standing by the door with a duffle bagin hand. But that's not what makes me stop breathing. Next to her with an amused smirk on her face is none other than Johanna.

"I guess you couldn't have missed me too much, brainless."

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	7. Envy- For Love and Acceptance

**Hi Everyone! I hope you all enjoy the last chapter of the prompts! I will be continuing with this story but it will not be updating daily the way it has so. Think more along the lines of a weekly surprise :) **

**Special thanks to Lbug84 for prompting (Get it cause it was PIP) me to continue with this story and for beta'ing each and every chapter. I hope you all enjoy the next installment and be sure to follow and favorite so you can find the chapters in the future. **

**Reviews are Greatly Appreciated! **

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**Katniss's pov**

"Jo! Hi. This is – uh- this is-" I stammer out.

"Peeta?" Peeta is still lying down next to me. His eyebrows are arched. HeI doesn't understand why I'm so flustered.

"Ya, Peeta. This is Peeta. Jo, Peeta. Peeta, Jo."

Jo has an amused look on her face. She's clearly enjoying this. I don't think Jo has ever seen me with anyone besides Gale. Gale. Shit, Gale. I spring out of bed and grab Jo by the wrist dragging her out of the room.

"I'll be back." I say to Peeta.

Rue giggles and follows us out. I can hear her shutting the door.

"That wasn't what it looked like." I tell Jo.

"Let's back up a minute. First, hi long lost friend. I missed you. Second, it's nice to see you with your head plastered to someone else instead of your pillow." She gives me a hug and squeezes. I return the embrace.

"But really that was nothing." I try again.

"Well it clearly wasn't nothing." Jo's smile is teasing but it doesn't change the serious note in her voice.

"Why don't we go talk downstairs? I need something chocolate." Rue says.

I nod and look back at my bedroom door.

"You guys go down and get yourselves a snack, I'll be down in a minute."

Jo and Rue both smile. "Take your time." Jo winks.

I take a deep breath and quietly open the door. I have to blink a few times when I see Peeta. He's in my underwear drawer looking at something. I tense up when I realize what it is.

"So now I know why you looked so guilty just now." His voice is low and sharp.

"What are you doing in my underwear drawer?"

"I thought I'd be nice and get stuff ready for you to take a shower, one less thing to keep you away from your friends. I didn't think know that this was where you hid the evidence of your other life."

My chest burns with pain.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Then why don't you explain it to me Katniss because a husband and a daughter sure as hell never came up in any of our previous conversations. Here's what I want to know. Why would someone who has such a clearly loving family willingly stay away from them? I would kill to have people love me like this." He's seething and I feel like my throat has closed up. Half of me wants to sink to my knees and cry the other half of me wants to slap him across the face.

"Or maybe you weren't sick at all. Maybe you were visiting them? Is that it, Kat? Am I part of you twisted second life?"

"Get out."

"I'm not going anywhere until you explain this to me. I actually cared about you. I thought- Jesus, I thought there was something here-"

"Get out."  
"Maybe I should call this Gale guy myself and ask him what he thinks about his wife hooking up with me on the side?" That was the breaking point.

"By all means if you get through to him let me know! Ask him why he had to die and take Prim with him, will ya? Ask him why they couldn't take me too!" I felt the burning tears coming through my eyes. Peeta's eyes go wide and he stands frozen. His face is visibly paler.

"Katniss, I-"

"Now get out." I grab the picture from his hand and clutch it to my chest. I move to the other side of the room, as far from him as possible.

"Katniss-" He takes a step towards me.

"Get out!" I break down. I feel the tears rushing down my face. I grab a bud vase from off my dresser and I throw it at him. It makes a dramatic shattering noise and suddenly I'm back to that house, that empty house with too many nice things. I scream. I find something else to break.

"Katniss, please!" I hear Peeta shout. I'm too far gone.

"I told you to get out! Get out!" I throw something at him. The tears obscure my vision too much to know what it was.

I watch through blurry vision as he leaves the room.

I'm still clutching the picture. I look at the smiling faces and I fall to the floor. I curl up as small as I can make myself and crawl under the bed. I feel better once I'm engulfed in the darkness. I let the pain seep out in whatever ways I can. I close my eyes and lay my head against the cool hardwood floor. It almost feels like a casket.

Peeta's pov

I'm a horrible person. I look around but don't focus as I walk down the stairs.

"What did you do?" Rue screams at me as Jo rushes up the stair past me. We can all hear Katniss destroying her room. I did that to her. I walk out the front door. I'm numb. I need to think. I get into my car and hate how it means nothing to me. I wish I had my motorcycle then at least I could use the wind to drown out my feelings.

I make it to my house. I ignore the view and climb the stairs and head straight towards bed. Trying to change was a mistake. I can't outrun my insecurities and I just end up hurting other people when I try. I try to fall into the dark oblivion of sleep hoping my actions won't haunt me there but they do. They do because all around me still smells like her. I close my eyes and I still see their faces.

They're so happy. It's a timeless picture, too genuine even for a hallmark card. I long for the happiness and love that is so clearly reflected in their eyes. I knew that kind of love once. Rye and I, we were that happy once, maybe not to the same extent but still happy. I miss him. I have been looking for something to fill the void his death has left inside me. I want someone to look at me, and accept me, and love me for who I am., Tthe way Rye had always looked at medone.

I must have fallen asleep because I suddenly wake up. I climb out of bed and look over the railing and through the windows. I see the sunset. It's beautiful. It comes to me in an instant. I tear through the house looking to change my clothes. I have to go. I have to go because I suddenly know what I have to do.

Katniss's pov

I stare straight ahead unseeing. There's a weight that sits in my blood. It courses through my body and keep me from getting up. I don't try to fight the feeling. I look at my skin and wonder why it still looks so normal. I expect it to be bloated, heavy, and maybe even ashen. Bbut it isn't. Nothing has changed. Gale and Prim are still gone and now so is Peeta. It's better this way. _It really is. _The little voice pops in. I don't particularly want to hear from her right now. Mainly because I don't want to admit she was right. She is right. How many breakdowns have their been since Peeta? Two? Three? I've known him for a matter of days if you put it all together. He is not safe.

"Kat?" I hear Rue.

I feel someone tug at my ankle. The grip on my ankle drags me slowly out from under the bed.

"Oh brainless. I hate seeing you looking so pitiful." I hear Jo whine. Despite my heart my mouth decides to smile.

"What do you need from us, Kat?" Rue kneels to my eyelevel and I can see the concern written in her eyes. She's a good soul.

"Just time. I'll bounce back,." I say.

"Can we get you anything?" She asks.

"Can you turn the lights off?" I ask.

"Sure, sweetie." I hear her footsteps go towards the door and turn off the lights.

"I'm going to haul you onto the bed now,." Jo says. I already feel her hands go under my arms. I help a little. We manage to get me into bed again.

"As part of my recovery plan you get tonight to continue to wallow in self pity. Tomorrow though-" She gives me a pointed look. "Tomorrow you will be up and working even if I have to use a taszer to get you out of bed." Jo says.

"Yes, maam." I say.

"Now I'm taking this kid to Olive Garden to stuff her face with carbs. It's the only way I know how to inject happy,." Jo says. "I have my cell if you need me."

"And I have mine too,." Rue calls from the door.

I nod. They leave.

I don't sleep. I watch the shadows move around my bedroom floor until the dim to nothing but lavender stripes of twilight. I hear a quiet knockw on the door and lift my eyes up to see who it is. I stiffen when I see him. He has a sheepish look on his face. I wish he'd go away. I'm embarrassed enough as it is.

"How are you?" He asks.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Well, I want to apologize and I want to take you somewhere."

"I'm not up for the zoo tonight, Peeta."

"Not the Zoo. It's close. If you hate it I promise to bring you back. We don't even need to take the car."

"I'd rather not."

"I know that."

It's quiet in the room while we watch each other. I can see his chest rise and fall with his steady breathing. I see his blonde curls. They're mussed as if he's been unconsciously pulling at them.

"But you'll come anyways though. Because you're curious."

I snort. Reverse psychology, interesting approach.

"I'll even carry you." He starts moving towards me.

"No- Peeta, no that's ridiculous- Peeta!" He lifts me into his arms the blanket is wrapped around me and has more or less trapped me. "Are you aware that this isn't a normal way to behave with someone you have gone on one date with?"

"It was a great date."

He's leaving my room. He's walking us down the stairs. Buttercup is sitting on the banister looking at us. She looks bored.

He pushes the back door open with his footback and I wonder why we leave our doors open unlocked at night. It's really a bad policy . We head towards the orchard. The voice in the back of my head wants to know why I'm not fighting this. I don't have a good answer.

He stops in front of something that looks like-

"Is that a blow up baby pool?"

"Technically."

He tosses me from his arms and into the pool. I scream. My body lands on uneven surface. It's soft and not at all unpleasant. A relieved laugh escapes my mouth.

"You filled a baby pool with pillows?"

He nods. "Two dozen to be exact."

I untangle myself from my blanket and shift around until I'm still lying down but sitting up.

"This is for you." He says. He hwands me what looks like a paper barrel. It's heavy.

"Gee, thanks." This is ridiculous. I'm getting out of this thing and going back to bed.

"Take the lid off." He says.

I roll my eyes and do what he says. The sooner he's been indulged the sooner I can leave without a fight. I pull of the lid and I feel my chest tighten.

Swirls of pink, brown, light blue, and cream have been churned harmoniously into at least a gallon of ice cream. That's not what's caught my attention though. Written out in M&M's are the words, A THOUSAND APOLOGIES.

"I'm sorry didn't seem to cut it. Neither does this one but I figured it might be a start."

I'm still staring at it. Not sure what to make of it.

"When I lost my brother, I lost the only person who loved me for who I was. I was so envious of what I saw in your picture. The love there that I didn't understand how you could leave it. I didn't understand how if you had that you couldan stand to be around me. I let my insecurities ruin something before it really even started." I feel the pool tilt as he sits down on the edge.

"More thaen anything I want to get to know you, Katniss. I don't want to push it to go too fast or stick my foot out to make it go slower. I want to go for the ride and I want to see where it takes us. You set the pace. I know you might not be ready for that now but if you ever are, I hope you'll consider me." I look at him but he's already has his head hanging over his lap.

"Do you have a spoon?" I ask.

He looks up. There's a questioning look in his eyes but he doesn't speak. Instead he pulls three different kinds of spoons from his pocket. I choose the middle one and start to dig into the strawberry.

He clears his throat. "How is it?"

"Well it's no chunkey monkey…" I'm still eating.

"I can go get that if you want." I arch an eyebrow and I see him smile.

"Maybe once we're done with this. You are going to eat some of this, right?"

"If you insist." He takes a spoon and moves a little closer so he can take some ice cream. He doesn't try to touch me. We eat in silence for a few minutes.

"So what was the point of this?" I ask.

"To try to show you that I was sorry."

"No, I mean, the pool of pillows."

"Oh, lean back." He says. I hand him the container and lie back. My breath hitches. There's a cosmos of twinkling stars out. Big, small and everything in between. The sky is so clear that some of them just look like streams of glitter floating through the atmosphere.

"If I could start over this is what I'd have done. I'd have eaten Ice cream with you out here and talked all night. I would have insisted that I get a turn at twenty questions. I'd take the time to know as much about you as I could. I'd try to stand out. Make you want me for me. In the morning I'd leave you with one kiss that would make you think about me for the rest of the day. I wouldn't scare you by coming onff too strong or demand things from you before you were ready to give them. Just this. This would have been it."

"It would have been a great date." He nods and leans back against the cushions.

We're lying side by side looking up at the stars.

"Maybe one day, if you ever forgive me, we can do this."

"That sounds nice."

We stay up talking and eating ice cream. We play twenty questions again. This time I let him have a turn too. I tell him about Gale and Prim. I tell him about how I felt when we were a family. How I felt when they were gone. I told him about Jo. I told him about Rue. I told him about how afraid I've always been to let anyone in. In the morning he helps me up and walks me to my back door. He smiles at me. I lean up on my toes and give him one perfect kiss that will have him thinking about me for the rest of the day. I stepgo inside and lean my back against the door. I bite my lower lip as I think about Peeta. There's a knock on the door.

I turn around and open it and see him standing there. He has a shy smile on his face.

"Yes?"

He leans in and kisses me back. It's thata perfect kiss he told me about. The very one that will have me thinking about him for the rest of the day. Maybe even longer. I smile and listen to the little voice in the back of my head. Even she's quiet.

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** ~ What did you think? What do you think will happen next? **

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	8. Jealousy- Steppin' up the game

**Hey everybody! Thanks for the wait here it is the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. This is just a fun one. Please remember to let me know what you think! Big thanks to Lbug84 for betaing this chapter. Make sure to check out her fics they're better then mine. **

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Peeta's POV

When my shift is over I go looking for her. I haven't been able to get her out of my head all day. I feel alive when I'm around her. I feel like…myself. Last night was everything I had hoped for and more. There was nothing forced. The conversation flowed and we just had fun. I don't remember the last time I had fun like that. It was innocent. She's sweet and funny. I know it's such a cliché but something just clicks between us. I think she forgave me for my insecurity tantrum yesterday but I'm anxious to see her to be sure.

The air becomes magnetic whenever I'm around her. And that kiss this morning. Holy hell. It's incredible I was able to get any work done at all. Then again the chickens aren't as demanding as say, my investors. A small part of me wonders how everything's going. It's been what, two weeks since I disappeared from my old life? I want to say that I miss it but surprisingly I don't. There's something fulfilling about life on this farm. Wholesome. I turn the corner on the side of main house and stop dead in my tracks.

She's hanging up a hummingbird feeder and she hasn't seen me yet. She's up on a ladder in a pair of tiny jean shorts and a bikini top. Her hair is up in a ponytail exposing her flawless neck to me. I remember what it was like to kiss her there. I swallow hard. I walk towards her when I see Marvel, the guy who drives the delivery truck, walk up behind her and hold onto both sides of the ladder. I feel my hand clench into a fist as he unashamedly takes in an eyeful of her ass. She turns around when she feels the ladder shift.

"Oh hi, do you need something?" She says to him. She doesn't sound friendly.

"I can think of a few things." She smiles tightly at him.

"Well if you move I can get down and we can talk about that."

He moves one arm purposefully staying close to the ladder. He takes in the view of her cleavage as she comes down.

"Now Marvel, what can I help you with?"

"There's something rather large I think you can help me with."

She raises her eyebrows as she waits for him to continue. I can see where this is going. I feel my shoulders rising and falling hard with the strength of my breathing.

"See I haven't been able to get you off my mind since our truck-shaking night. You said you'd give me a call but it's been over a month now."

I blink a few times in shock. Katniss slept with that pig?

"I told you. It was great but I'm not interested."

"You said you owed me one when I picked you up from that fancy place in Malibu."

"It's an expression."

I move towards them. What a dick. The lady said she wasn't interested. Get the hell away. She's mine. The thought stops me in my tracks. Well, she's more mine then his at least. I kissed her this morning.

I come up behind her and put my hand around her waist. She stiffens and looks back at me.

"Everything okay over here?" I ask.

"Things are going fine. Thanks." She says. I pull her a little closer to me and smile at Marvel.

"Oh you've got to be kiddin' me. Really Katniss? You're screwing the city boy? He take you to some fancy hotel and make you leave your boots and cutoffs on the front porch?"

"Hey, now-" I try to defend her.

"Peeta, I can handle myself thank you." She moves out of my embrace and turns towards Marvel. Her voice gets low.

"Now you listen to me. I'm fixin ta' give your rusty ass a nice kick in a sec. Don't you be mouthin' off to me about my own private life. If I want to fuck the city boy I will. Just because I made the mistake of sleepin' with your sorry ass doesn't give you the right to ever approach me in the light of day about it. You hear? So the next time you decide to throw a hissy fit you can find yourself a new Ford to drive around. Now get outta my sight, I'm sick a lookin' at ya."

Marvel turns thirteen different shades of red before he turns to look at me.

"This ain't over, rich boy." He walks away kicking up some dust.

"Wow. So where did that come from?" I ask.

"Where did what come from?"

"The Southern Pistol. I didn't even realize you had an accent."

"Oh. Right. It comes out thicker when I get angry."

"Well I'm fixin ta' want to hear it again."

"Well that was just a god near awful impersonation of a southern accent."

I shrug. "I'm from Chi-town."

"Right." She turns around and scoops up the latter turning it horizontal. She walks towards the house without sparing me another glance.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I have stuff to get done."

"Well, can I help you with anything?"

"Got it covered. Thank you though."

She walks into the house and the door bangs shut in my face. Well that was….not what I had been hoping for. The door opens again and I feel the smile spread across my face again. It falls when I see Jo.

"Hey pretty boy. What the hell are you doing out here?"

"I was…uh…"

"Listen, you are as cute as a puppy dog but if you sit on her porch step and pant away waiting for her, she's going to give you a little pat on the head and walk right past you. You follow?"

"Uh, I think so…" She lets out an exaggerated sigh and grabs my arm.

"Let's take a little walk." She says.

I follow her down the porch and look behind me to see if I can see Katniss coming back out. Did she send Jo to get rid of me?

"So you like Kat, huh?" I nod. No point denying it.

" Well, she's all kinds of messed up but she seems to be unable to help herself around you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you're the first man who she's so much as looked at again after having an episode."

"An episode?" Is that what she was sick with?

Jo sighs. "Listen Katniss didn't cope well after… You do know she lost Gale and Prim?" I nod. "She's one of my oldest friends and I love her but she's a mess on the inside. She has a self-destructive pattern."

"What kind of pattern?"

"She fights her needs until they get too strong then she goes on a man hunt and fucks the day lights out of her pick of the week. She leaves them with a cold bed and drowns herself in guilt. Sometimes you'll get a bender if she does it around a birthday or an anniversary."

"Is that what happened with me?"

"I would have said yes but what I can't figure out is how you broke it. Usually I'm the only one who can get her out of bed after a week-long bender, but I show up fresh off the plane and what do I see? She's laughing and cuddled up to you. So there must be something different about you. Which is why I'm going to help you."

"You are?"

"Yes I am. I don't know what you did with her last night but this morning she had a big fat smile on her face."

"She didn't look too happy to see me just now."

"Well what do you expect, caveman? You practically stampeded over a kitten that thinks she's a bobcat. She can handle herself. You attempting to fight her battles won't flatter her. It embarrasses her. It makes her think you think she's weak."

"So what do I do?"

Jo smiles. "You don't know how to two step by any chance, do you?"

"Jo, what in the hell do you mean there's a mustang in the barn? I told you the stables are-" She turns around as Jo shuts the barn door. Katniss stops in her tracks when she sees me. She takes in the room. We've strung up mini Edison bulbs so they float overhead. On the floor I have on a few lanterns. There's just enough light for me to see how beautiful she looks.

"Hi."

"Hi." She looks at me. I'm wearing the jeans from our first date and a black v-neck tee shirt. She matches me. Jo actually pulled it off.

"Would you like to dance?"

"What?"

"Would you like to dance?" She blinks a few times and looks around.

"You want to dance in the barn? Without music? Are you out of your mind?"

"Which answer do you want first? …Yes …No …and, probably."

She laughs and shakes her head. I walk over to the work table where I've set up my iphone with speakers and start playing Keith Urban's "We were us." She cocks her eyebrow.

"Country?"

"Yes, ma'am." I smile. I stretch out my hand. She's shaking her head as she walks towards me. She puts her hand in mine. I sweep her close and position my hands the way Jo showed me.

"_And_ we're Country steppin'?"

"Looks like it."

As the chorus picks up so do my dance steps. She follows effortlessly and lets out a breathy laugh as I spin with her. Our bodies sway together naturally. When I look in her eyes I'm more confident with my steps then I was all afternoon.

"Where the hell did you learn to dance?"

"Right here about two hours ago."

"I'll kill her."

"I asked for help."

"Why would you need help?"

"Because every time I get close to you, you run away."

"That's not tr-"

"It is."

She bites her bottom lip. I lean down and capture it with mine bringing it into my mouth. She lets out a low moan. My tongue sweeps into her mouth and caresses her. I bring my hand up to cup her cheek and our bodies completely collide. Her hands wrap around my waist and smooth up my back. We stop dancing. The music changes and the sweet sounds of Jeff Buckley's cover of 'Hallelujah' begins. I bring my hands down to her waist and caress her sides. The music is helping adjust our frantic pace into something mellower, deeper. The kiss caresses the melody as it fills the room around us. We are caught up in the music and in each other…until the Macarena comes on.

"Fucking shuffle." I murmur against her lips. She laughs and takes a step back. I run over to the table and put on my playlist for tonight making sure to shut off the shuffle feature. I walk back over to her. She has her arms crossed over her chest and a hesitant smile on her face.

"Hey, hey. None of that."

I move her arms away from her body and wrap them around me. My hands caress her cheeks while I make her eyes meet mine. I lean in to continue where we left off. She tilts her head away.

"We're just having fun right?" She says.

I think about her question. I can either push forward with my agenda or appease her fears.

"No. We're doing a lot more then having fun." She takes a step back but I move my hands to hold her fully against me. "And you're going to be happy about that and you're not going to run away from me."

"I don't know what it is you think you know but I'm not looking for anything serious. Ever."

"You're lying."

"I'm not-"

"Don't even try to pretend like things aren't different between us. I'd bet you haven't felt this way about someone in a long time, if not ever. I know I haven't."

"You're way to confident buddy."

"I guess I'll just have to get you to admit I'm right."

"Never going to happen."

"Is that a challenge?" She was looking in my eyes now. I could see her hesitating. She can't back down now. I tip the scales just to make sure. "Unless you're afraid that I'm right."

"You're on." There's a flash of anger and determination in her eyes. I lean down and throw her over my shoulder fireman style.

"What the hell are you doing?" She's smacking at my back.

"Letting you see the truth."

"Dammit Peeta." She's still hitting me but she's not actually fighting me. It's a game to her.

I round the corner to the empty hayloft and start to climb. It's not especially high up but I had brought a few blankets and some snacks around earlier in case we got hungry. I'm more then happy to make use of it. When we get to the top of the ladder I notice Katniss has stopped hitting me. Instead, she's using her arms to cling to me. I turn my head and give her an open mouthed kiss on the neck. She tenses but can't help the moan that escapes. I wrap her legs around my waist and sink down onto my knees letting her head fall against the blanketed bed of hay.

"So you brought me here to seduce me?" Her voice is husky.

"I brought you here to spend time with you." I see a lasso on a hook above us and an idea hit me. "But since you need convincing to stop blowing me off….I guess I can remind you of how things are between us."

I reach up and pull my shirt off my head. She swallows visibly as she looks over my chest. I take her wrists in my hands and wrap my shirt around them. She looks confused until I pull the rope off the hook and tie it over the shirt. I take the end loop and wind it around the hook making sure her hands stay over her head.

"Now you definitely won't try to run away." Her eyes go wide. There's apprehension in them, but some excitement also. I'm banking that the excitement will win out.

I move closer to her bringing my hips flush against hers. She whimpers as I grind against her our jeans providing just enough friction to tease her but not enough to satisfy. I kiss her hard coaxing my tongue into her mouth. She doesn't fight it. When my tongue caresses hers she moans and matches my need tenfold. I move my hands down. They make their way under the seam of her shirt and caress her soft skin. She whimpers and wraps her legs tighter around me trying to bring me closer to her. I feel her pull on the ropes and smile. I know she wants to touch me, to speed this up. I lift up her shirt and bring it over her head letting it rest on her bound wrists. I kiss my way down her neck letting my tongue dart out to lick the indentation at the tip of her collarbone. She moans loudly.

"Shit, Peeta."

"Admit it." She seals her lips together.

I continue to kiss down her body. I unsnap her jeans as my other hand paws a supple breast. I can see her biting her lip. I move my hand up to unsnap her bra. I say a silent thank you that it clasps in the front. The clasp springs open dramatically and she is completely exposed to me. I grasp the same supple nipple and pull it into my mouth. I suck greedily and feel her writhe beneath me. Her dancing hips mixed with the taste of her warm flesh in my mouth have me painfully hard. I grind against her and she bucks again. She lets out a cry as I switch my attention to the other breast. My hands roam down her body and pull her jeans from her. I don't stop until I've taken them completely off. I look down at her from my position near her feet and see her breathing hard. Her cherry nipples rise and fall taunting me to taste them again. I dive back towards them and she cries out in ecstasy as I swirl my tongue around the elevated peaks.

"Say it." I murmur around a nipple.

"No." I stop my ministrations and look up at her. She whimpers quietly and arches her back in an attempt to bring her nipple back into my mouth.

"So you feel this way with everyone you fuck?"

Her flinch is slight but I still see it. I know she's lying. She knows she's lying but she's too stubborn. Lucky for me I'm patient.

"You'll tell the truth soon enough." I smile slightly before I start licking a path down lower. When I reach the slip of lace covering her sex I blow over it letting my warm breath give her a glimpse of what's to come. Her groan makes my cock beg to be released but if this is going to work my jeans need to stay on. I pull her underwear off quickly and hover over her beautiful little mound. She's looking down at me with her lower lip firmly between her teeth. She thinks I'm going to wait here for her to say something but I'm not that fair. I play dirty and this time will be no exception. I bend down and give a thick swipe of my tongue over her slit before it reaches up and circles her clit. She tastes so sweet.

"Oh my god" She screams out. I repeat the process over and over. I mix up the motions until I feel her juices pooling under her thighs. I slide a finger into her and now it's my turn to moan. She's so wet and tight. I slide in another finger and fuck her purposefully with them.

"Peeta. Please Peeta! Yes!" She's close I know she is. I stop moving my fingers and I withdraw them from her. I lift up my eyes.

"What? No. Peeta. Please, I'm so close. Please." Her frustrated cries stroke my ego.

"Say it, Katniss."

"I can't."

"Say it." I whisper the words over her clit.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Say I'm right. Admit that this is different. Promise you won't run away anymore." She whimpers in frustrations.

"Peeta-"

"Say it." I suck on her clit greedily again then pull away as she moans.

"Peeta! Alright! Yes. You're right. This is different."

"Now, promise you won't run away."

"Peeta-"

"Promise."

"Alright I promise." She cries. I bring my mouth back down to her and insert my two fingers before adding a third. She bucks wildly against my hands.

"I love how you taste." I lap my tongue against her.

"Peeta, that's it. God, that's it! I-" I feel her walls pulse over my fingers as her body starts to shake. I pump my fingers drawing out every last wave from her body. Watching her shatter under my touch is one the most erotic things I have ever seen in my life. She's stunning. She opens her eyes slowly.

"Please come fuck me," she whispers. I'm more than happy to comply. I peel off my jeans and pull myself towards her heat. I rub my head against her opening coating myself with her and teasing us both in the process. Her clit is sensitive and she's already responding to my movements.

"Please Peeta." I don't need any more encouragement as I angle her hips in my hands and plunge in with one hard thrust. We both cry out at the deep friction. I hold myself still inside her soaking up the feel of her warm heat surrounding me. She shifts her hips and I start to move. Every thrust brings a cry from her lips. I watch her and she keeps eye contact with me. It's soul searing.

"Harder, Peeta," she whispers. I comply with a deep hard thrust that has my pelvis banging against her clit.

"Harder!" She cries. I take her again and again becoming intoxicated in the movement of our bodies. I bring my mouth down to hers and squeeze a perfect breast. I swallow her scream of ecstasy. I feel the telling pulse of her inner walls around me as they milk me greedily. I'm defenseless against the gripping onslaught and feel my own climax start to take over. I slam hard into her one last time before I feel myself pulse inside her. I'm still shaking even after I finish. I take her lips in mine our bodies still connected.

"You scare me," she says quietly.

"I know, beautiful." I kiss her again. The kiss is as tender as our lovemaking was rough minutes before. I run my fingers through her hair. It's come undone at some point, I love seeing it down. She leans her head up and I give her the kiss she's looking for.

"How do you feel otherwise?" I ask.

"Warm and made of jelly." I laugh and place a kiss against her forehead.

"If I untie you will you promise not to run?"

"I already promised you I wouldn't run. Besides I couldn't move even if I needed too."

I reach up to untie her wrists and massage them lightly in my hands before placing a kiss on each one.

"Was that…was that okay?"

She nods. "It was more then okay. It was….I've never done that before. I liked it. More than I thought. I liked it a lot."

"Good. I liked watching you like that." I draw my arms around her and pull her body so it fits perfectly against mine. I pull a piece of straw out of her hair before I burrow my face into the crook of her neck. I breathe her in. She smells like, hay, our sex, and Katniss.

"What do we do now?" She asks. I look over at her not especially sure what she means. "I mean…Where do we go from here? I've never…I don't usually…"

"Have a relationship?" I ask. She nods. "Well, right now I pick you up and take you to either your bed or mine. Then we get in, we sleep for a little while, and I do that to you all over again."

"I think I can do that." She says.

"Glad to hear it, because we'll be doing that every night from now on." She brings her hand to my hair and pulls my face down to hers.

"I think I can do that," she breathes against my lips. She brings them together and caresses me with her tongue.

The bed can wait.

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_Please review!_


	9. Insecurity- The Morning After

**_First I need to thank everyone for their patience with my writing. I have officially handed in my own book to an editor and I will keep all of you posted with details in the future. That being said! Here is the next chapter of Heartkeeper! This chapter goes out in large part to the rockin' Lbug84 for her cowriting skills and her mad beta- ing abilities. I could not have done this chapter without you! Everyone really needs to check out her stuff. Start with Unalaska and Blend then keep going! For my UTSF followers, the chapter is almost ready to go out to you, It will be nice and long and hopefully satisfy your action fix. Looking forward to hearing from all of you!_**

**_Please read and review~_**

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**Peeta POV**

She's gone when I wake up.

We never did make it out of this barn. I wake up with hay stuck to the side of my face, but I'm well rested...and alone.

I don't know what I was expecting. It all seemed so simple yesterday. It all made sense. But in the light of day, what's really changed? She's still healing, and it will take more than a night to get us to a better place. If she still wants there to be an "us."

I sit up and push the blanket off of me. Where'd this thing come from anyway? Katniss must've given it to me. She must've gone and come back...or maybe it was here and I just didn't see it. It doesn't matter. The suns up, and I have chickens to tend to. Fucking chickens.

I step outside of the barn and I see her. She's wearing her jean cut offs and a blue T-shirt. Her hair is braided back and she's carrying a clipboard. The white truck pulls up and she steps towards the driver's side door. From here I can make out the tones of two voices, her's and Marvel's, but I'm too far away to hear what they're saying. No need though, judging by her effortless smile as she scribbles on her clipboard, I gather what bubble we lived in last night has burst.

The high-pitched sounds of the chickens don't faze me anymore. And when one tries to fly the coop, I don't hesitate to swat her out of the air. Fuck being nice. These things are food. And I won't be taunted by food today.

My chores complete, I exit the coop, resting the rake over my shoulder. I walk to the general store down the road. It must be at least 5 miles, but I needed the air. I thought maybe it would help me figure out why I can't get Katniss to stick around with me for more then a few hours at a time. All I've accomplished is getting shit on my new gym shoes. I was going to buy a new pair anyway. God knows I can afford it. "God knows." Can't ever fully leave the church, can you?

The old man at the store gives me a hard time about buying a loosey, so I pick up a pack of Marlboros. I sit on a bench outside the store. I bring a cigarette to my lips and strike a match.

"I didn't know you smoke," Katniss says. She claims the seat beside me.

"I don't, " I say as I light my cigarette. I take a long pull and exhale in relief, tucking the cigarette between my index and middle fingers.

"Me neither." She reaches into my hand and pulls a cigarette out of the pack. She places it between her lips and looks to me expectantly. I use the lit end of mine to light hers. She inhales deeply, and then exhales with a smile.

"Yeah," I agree.

Her eyes cut over to me. "So why are we 'not' smoking?"

"Cus fuck it. That's why." I put the cigarette out. "Just needed the head rush."

"Yeah," she says taking another pull. She puts it out as she exhales. "Let's skip the cancer."

"You didn't cough," I observe.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Just another in a long line of vices I've tried."

"Didn't do it for you?"

"Nope," she says popping the P.

"What does?"

"Sex," she says flatly. "Easier to lose yourself."

I smile and nod.

"So, that's how you self-medicate?"

She nods. "Sex and ice cream." I give her a confused look and she shakes her head at me. "Are you going to remind me that I have a dead husband in every conversation we have?"

"I didn't mean to."

"About last night. I'm not a fan of your negotiation tactics,"

"What are you talking about?" Shit. She didn't like getting tied up. Shit.

"Ya got nerve making me say those things. Promise you things."

"You were gone this morning."

She nods. "I have a business to run. Can't sleep all day. Well, not every day."

"Do you regret it?"

"I don't think so. I don't know. I just... I haven't dated since before my marriage, so I don't really remember how it works. But, when I'm with you, I don't feel like me." My jaw tenses and she grabs it in her hand turning me to look at her. "In a good way. You make me feel like it can be good again." She brings her hand to her forehead. "Fuck, I'm an asshole."

I take her hand in mine. "No, you're not."

She slowly looks into my eyes. "You have to be patient with me."

**Katniss POV**

I follow Peeta through his obscene new home. He's giving me the grand tour, but he seems unsure of himself. Paintings are hanging that he didn't expect to be there. He makes an uncomfortable face when he sees the couch.

"What the hell is this," I ask picking up a gaudy woman's purse off the dresser in the guest bedroom. "Is fidelity a part of this whole relationship thing?"

Peeta smiles at me. "Is it?"

I roll my eyes. "Ya gonna tell me about the bag?"

He shrugs a shoulder. "Maybe. You gonna tell me about Marvel?"

My eyes drift from the bag and back to him. I shake my head. "No." Peeta nods, understanding something I didn't mean to convey. "Just that it won't be happening again."

"Ditto," Peeta replies.

He walks me through the bedrooms and out to the balcony.

"This isn't your home," I say as I lean against the glass door of the balcony.

"Of course it is. I bought it."

"There isn't a single picture of you anywhere in this place."

"Well I just moved in."

I narrow my eyes at him "Where's the couch from?"

"I don't…..well, I don't…"

"Know?" I offer.

"What do you want me to say, Katniss?"

"The truth."

He sits down on one of the uncomfortable looking chairs on the balcony.

"I don't have a home," he says quietly.

I walk over to him, unsure of how to really comfort him. But I don't struggle with that dilemma long. His arms reach out and grab me, pulling me close his face pressed up against my abdomen. He's not crying - I think I'd have a panic attack if he did. But he's breathing heavy.

"Ya got more money than ya know what to do with, right?"

He looks up at me. He slowly nods his head.

"Get rid of all this stupid white cant-drink-a-beer-on-it furniture. Let's go pick out something you can fuck me on comfortably."

He arches an eyebrow. "Well can I fuck you on this one before I give it back?"

"You can try," I say. I jump up and run through the house. I don't have to turn around to know that he's chasing after me.

I round the kitchen and fly past the white lacquered cabinets. This place really is stupid. I head towards the stairs.

"Got you!"

I shriek as Peeta comes bounding out of nowhere and wraps his arms around my waist. I'm hauled over to the couch and have the wind knock out of me as I land on my back with Peeta on top of me. He's hard. I feel his impressive length through his jeans. A rush of electricity runs through me as he brings his hand to cup my cheek. His breathing is still heavy but for a much different reason now.

"I can't get enough of you." He whispers against my lips. I don't have enough time to respond before his lips lock with mine. His tongue caresses me gently. Teasing me to respond. The gentle caresses trigger my moans from deep in my throat. I love his taste.

I feel his weight press off me. I let out a sound of frustration and he chuckles. I feel his hands on my jean button and zipper. He shucks off the shorts and I'm left in nothing but a light green thong. He begins to place open mouth kisses on my bare skin making sure not to get near and of the places I want him the most. The pleasure is torture as my overly sensitive skin takes kiss after kiss from his tender mouth.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Please Peeta…"

"Good enough." He moves aside the small triangle and runs the tip of his tongue up my slit. Its like lightening runs through me. I jolt backwards on the couch only to have Peeta's strong hands hold me down. I cry out loudly as he dives back in, his tongue curling roughly around my clit. He slides his fingers into my core and my hand shots to his head to hold him down as he begins to suck on my clit.

"I'm so close, Peeta! Don't stop!"

He curls his fingers up against my outer wall and my orgasm breaks over me. He continues to suck as I come down from the incredible high. If this is what being in a relationship is like then it shouldn't be too difficult, I think. I feel Peeta kiss my thigh before reaching down and pulling my shorts up.

"What, What about you?" And your cock?

"I have a theory that I'm testing out."

This could not be a good. "Which is?"

"I figure that if I want you to want me. Really want me, not just my dick. Then I need a bargaining chip."

"I'm not following."

"Every time we've slept together you either bolt or avoid me after."

"Okay."

"Well if this relationship is going to work you can't keep taking off once you get what you want."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Of course."

"So you'll promise me that you won't take off after we sleep together from now on?"

"I already did."

"Yes, but as you pointed out, you were under duress. Say it again now. No excuses. No claiming I forced words into your mouth."

I don't know why I didn't just answer but I didn't I stayed quiet. He moved over me ghosting his lips above mine. "Say it Katniss. Say it and I'll give you what we both want."

"I prom- Do you hear that? What's that noise?"

"What noise?"

"That." There was a muffled mewling noise. I sat still and tried to listen for it. It was coming from the back porch. We had left the door open. I crawled out from under Peeta and listened again. It was louder out here it sounded like crying. I leaned my head over the porch railing and looked down. There all alone with their eyes barely opened were three kittens. One was orange, another white, and the last in a tuxedo.

"Well I'll be damned." Peeta says.

"Where's there mother?"

"She probably went surfing."

"Really?"

"I have no idea where that came from." I couldn't help it. I popped a grin.

"I wonder how long they've been out here?" I'm already climbing the railing going over to them. When I reach the ground I look around for the mother. She is nowhere to be seen. I continue to look around hoping that she has just gone off hunting and will return when she hears her babies crying. I'm not dumb enough to try to take them before I'm sure their mother is gone. They'd be much better off with her then with me.

"Do you want me to bring out some milk?'" Peeta asks from above me.

"No. Kittens don't drink cow's milk. That's for baby cows, you know. These guys would need KMR."

"KMR?"

"Kitten formula."

"I don't think I have any of that."

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Looks like I'll be bottle feeling these babies.

"Alright. I'm going to pass them up to you can you hold onto them until I climb back up?"

"I don't see why not."

I start by passing them to him. I start with the little white one. He's crying the loudest by far.

"He's so tiny. He barely weighs anything."

"They can't be older then two weeks, maybe even just one."

"This is unbelievable." He says as I pass him the other two.

I grab onto the siding and I climb back up. When I get to the top Peeta has all the kittens quiet even the white one.

"Holy crap, you're the kitten whisperer." I say.

"I think they were just cold." He's rocking them gently like they're human babies. All three of them fit comfortably in the cup of his hands. "What do we do now?"

"I have some KMR back on the ranch if you want to come. We usually keep it around for the local baby birds and as supplements for some of the other orphaned animals. You never know who's going to show up."

"Great. Do you want to grab my keys?"

"You want to hold them?" I ask incredulously. I've seen guys who like animals, I've seen them when they like babies, but I've never willingly seen a man continue to hold either one longer then a few minutes.

"They like me."

"Alright."

We walk into the house and I shut the back door behind him.

"Keys and overnight bag are under the entry table." He says. He's still looking at the kittens.

"Man Mellark, I think I've figured it out."

"What?"

"You can't help but make every pussy you touch happy."

His eyes brows rise and then he lets out a disbelieving laugh. I smile a minute before my laughter joins in. We're still laughing as I pull the door open. I almost bang into Peeta before I realize he's stopped walking. I notice Finnick, Annie's husband and one other man standing next to him.

"Peet!"

"Finn what are you doing here?"

"Well.."

"Spit it out, Odair." The guy next to him says.

"We need you to come back."

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	10. Acedia- Related to Melancholy

**Big thanks goes out to my friend Lbug84 for being an awesome beta and an awesome writer. You all must check out her Fics. Blend is really awesome if you like a modern story of substance with Smut, Unalaska is a super awesome historical ****fic. Read them all! **

******Acedia** (Latin, _acedia_) (from Greek ακηδία) is the neglect to take care of something that one should do. It is translated to listlessness; depression without joy.

**Please read and review! **

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**Katniss's pov**

"Who are you and what have you done with Peeta Mellark?" The man in the too stylish grey suite says. Peeta is as stiff as a board.

"Cato. I wasn't expecting you."

"What are you holding? A bucket full of mice?"

"They're kittens."

"Is that supposed to be different?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to haul you back into the office. Everyone's got separation anxiety. The investors want to their confidence restored."

"I'm a little busy."

"What? Playing Doctor Dolittle?"

"No, I-" I don't know what prompts me to do it but I take a step forward and put my hand on Peeta's back for support. I don't like whoever this guy is. I don't like how he talks to Peeta. Peeta looks over at me before looking back at Cato.

"I've taken a leave of absence. You know that."

Cato takes me in for the first time. I watch his eyes run down my body and then back up and stay at my tits.

"Can't you bring your leave of absence into the office with you?"

I stiffen at his insinuation. So does Peeta.

"You can tell the investors the truth. I'm taking a leave of absence."

"They're getting nervous, Peet. We just need you to come for a few meetings and assure them that you're not abandoning the company." Finn says in a much kinder tone than Cato.

"Why can't you do it?"

"My name isn't Peeta Mellark. I'm not CEO of Mellark industries."

"I'm busy. Find a way to cover for me." Peeta walks past them and moves to his car. My eyes flicker over to Finn. He's rubbing his forehead. I walk past him and I don't say anything.

"If you keep walking you might as well sign your chapter 11 forms."

"Bankrupted the company in two months? That's got to be a record even for you, Cato." Peeta balances the kittens in one arm as he gets into the passenger seat. I get in also.

"Peet-"

"Just drive."

So I do.

We don't talk about the altercation at his house. By the time we get back to the farm all Peeta can talk about is the kittens. He makes for a pretty damn adorable sight if I do say so myself. Peeta on the mud room floor with three kittens climbing all over him was great to see. Something about them brought out the little kid in Peeta. His eyes lost some of that sharpness that comes from years of cynicism. In just hours these little buggers have managed to erase all signs of the critic in him. I snapped a couple pictures on my Iphone. Too damn cute.

"I'm going to name this one little Peeta." He says holding up the white one.

I laugh. "Why little Peeta?"

"Cause he loves to snuggle."

"I think we should name him Dixie."

"Dixie?"

"He's got a lot of heart."

"But it doesn't have the same ring to it." He holds up the kitten. "Isn't that right little Peeta?"

"Do you want to talk about this morning?" I ask.

"Not even a little bit."

"I think we should."

"There's nothing to talk about. That's not my life anymore."

"I think that's a little extreme. Why do you need to give up your old life in its entirety just to live this one?"

"Isn't that a hypocritical question coming from you?" I stiffen. "Shit Katniss, I'm sorry. That wasn't fair."

I get up. "I'm going to get the kittens some litter. I'll be back in a minute."

"Kat-" I was already out of the room. I see buttercup coming down the hall. He meows and trots over to me. When he smells my hands he lets out a big hiss, probably from smelling the other kittens.

"Gee, thanks. I guess I'm getting it from all sides today."

He runs off. I collect the necessary supplies and go back into the mudroom. Peeta is standing up now still holding the little white kitten.

"Finn just called me again. I'm just going to go in for a couple meetings."

"What made you change your mind?"

"There are two thousand people with jobs on the line if I don't show."

I nod. "That's a good reason to go."

"I'm sorry about that comment before. That wasn't fair of me."

"No worries."

He walks over and gives me a kiss on my cheek. "I'm going to head out. I'll see you in a few days. Take care of little Peeta while I'm gone."

"Of course. I'll let him snuggle against my chest."

"I'm sure he'll love that."

"I'm sure."

"So we're okay?"

"More than fine."

"You're sure?"

"Peeta go save those people their jobs."

He smiles and gives me a quick kiss before heading out the back door.

Peeta's pov

"What a train wreck." I mutter. I'm sitting at my desk. I can't see the door over the mountain of paperwork on my desk. I'm freshly shaven and have on one of my custom suits. I've never felt less like myself. This thought surprises me. What does it say about a person when they spend a half a decade building themselves into someone they don't recognize? Now isn't the time to be philosophical, I think, as I grab the first large stack of papers.

As I run through the numbers its becoming more and more clear to me that something's not adding up. How does a Fortune 500 company go from being so successful to in such financial crisis in a matter of weeks? My guts telling me it's foul play. The thought leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. If it's foul play I'll have to look internally at whose been making the decisions. I pull open every file, look at all previous earnings and compare it with current cash flow and future projections. The bitter taste in my mouth leaves me down right nauseous when I realize I won't be getting to the bottom of this for at least a few more days. What I need to do and what I want to do have never been further from each other.

Over the next week I don't leave my desk. Katniss and I facetime occasionally. She puts the kittens on and she holds up little Peeta and has him wave his little paw at me. It's a nice break from the hell at the office but once she hangs up I feel just as miserable as ever. I'm on day 9 of being away from the farm when I get a text from Katniss. I hadn't even bothered going back to my apartment last night, I just slept on the couch in my office.

Kat: Little Peeta isn't doing so good. I'm going to take him into the vet.

I text her back.

Me: What's wrong with him?

Kat: He hasn't been eating well. Today he's not eating at all.

Me: Definitely take him in. Get him whatever he needs. Little Peeta needs to thrive.

Kat: Lol

I don't hear back from her after that. I go back to work. It occurs to me as I reach the bottom of the pile of papers that Cato has had a lot of shitty properties with much higher then usual earnings. I get that feeling again and decide to call him into my office. To say it doesn't go well is an understatement.

"Mind explaining to me how you managed to invest 100 million into a sinking portfolio?"

"Sure. You weren't around and the big decisions needed to be made. So I manned up."

"Did you do any due diligence on this? I mean looking at the credit ratings on these vendors. I don't understand you. It's like you-" I stop as I flip through the last sheet. Every one of these properties has something in common. I hadn't been able to put my finger on it but that when I realized it. "Are you getting kick backs for buying undesirable property?" It all makes sense now, the properties in the portfolio were originally owned by our biggest competitor, even though different realtors had sold them.

"Must be a coincidence."

"Cato, I trusted you with this. Jobs are on the line."

"Trust? You want to talk about trust for a minute here? I don't even recognize you anymore." I stiffen. I shouldn't let him get to me but he means the comment as an insult. It mirrors too closely to Katniss' words to me the other day. "_Why do you need to give up your old life in its entirety just to live this one?"_

"You used to have plans for this place. You wanted to be the next Google or Redstone or Microsoft and suddenly you just don't show up one day. Finnick tells everyone your taking a leave of absence and everyone goes crazy. Well I came in to save your ass. So the market turned on a few projects it'd have been a lot worse if-"

"They offered you a job, didn't they? Get rid of their baggage and come and run a thriving company."

"Yeah they offered me a job and I'm not stupid enough to worry about some shit like loyalty to get in my way."

"Why wouldn't you just try to take this company? I wasn't around like you said. I'm a lot more successful then Related Realty is. Why not keep a thriving portfolio?"

Cato's jaw goes stiff. Then I answer my own question. It all makes sense now, Finn coming to get me, the board demanding to see me.

"You tried and the board didn't go for it."

"No they didn't. Why would they though? When there's a chance that the boy with the golden fingers might come bounding through the doors at any minute."

"I thought we were friends…"

"Friends? Friends? A friend doesn't leave a friend behind. You just picked up and left to be some dirt eating do-gooder who licks chicken shit to pass the time. You're not my friend. I don't even know who the hell you are."

" I'm still me that's never changed."

"And tell us Peeta who are you? Honestly, I think you've had your head buried to far up your little farm girls pussy."

"Don't talk about her like that."

"You don't even realize it. That's whats so fucking sad. There is no Peeta Mellark. He goes from person to person looking for someone to love and accept him. The problem is that you get up and leave because at the end of the day you're a hollow shell. You change your stripes by the weather. Milionaire CEO turns into crunchy chicken farmer in a matter of hours. That's not normal and I don't need to be a part of your shit anymore."

"Cato, I believe you're fired."

"You can't fire me any more then you can blame a sailor for jumping off a sinking ship. Because that's what you've got yourself here and you know what I'm gonna laugh while I have fun watching you drown."

"Good luck in your new job. They'll need it. Get the fuck out of my office."

Cato sneered and got up knocking over the chair with his free hand.

"I left the chapter 7 forms on your desk for you. Figured you might need them."

"Thanks for the consideration. I was looking for something to wipe my ass with."

Cato slams the door on his way out. I lean back in my chair and pinch the bridge of my nose. I'm surprised. I feel embarrassment more then anything. I trusted someone and he betrayed me. The worst part is in some ways he was right. About me, I mean.

"Peet, You ready?" Finns head pops through the door. Right, the investors.

"Yeah. I'm coming."

Katniss' pov

"So there's nothing you can do?"

"Well he'll get the three doses of the antibiotics. That'll rule out that its not intestinal parasites."

"Right but what about all the other thousands of things it could possibly be?"

"Well he needs to gain weight so the Nutri cal gel should help, some people use the chicken baby food, they seem to like that."

"I told you I tried everything He doesn't want to eat."

The vet has the audacity to shrug at me. Like I'm some nervous parent, not an animal expert in my own right. Like I don't know she's half assing this assessment.

"Bring him back on Thursday if he doesn't get better."

I leave the vet. I'm less then enthused. I have the little white kitten tucked in a towel. He's pitifully skinny and looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks compared to the less then 48 hours it's actually been. I take out my phone and dial Peeta. He doesn't answer. I look down at the phone and I stop. The first person I call is Peeta? When did that happen? It's always been Annie or Jo or Rue, how did Peeta pop into my head as the one to call?

"I'm losing my mind, little cat." I say to Little Peeta. Dammit. I should have insisted on Dixie.

"Dixie. Because that's your actual name." The kitten lets out a weak little meow in resignation. Great even he thinks his name is little Peeta. "Come on. Let's get you home so we can squirt some calories down your throat."

"Katniss, You really need to go."

"I don't feel right about leaving him." I hold Little Peeta- Dixie, Dammit- in my lap. He barely moves. He is content to take on the consistency of a wet noodle as he allows me to bend and move him. He never puts up a fight. When his brothers jump around and play all he does is watch with heavily hooded eyes.

"It's less then 24 hours and if we can get these people to be patrons of the farm our fundraising quota would be set for the next five years! You can't pass that up."

Rue says. Sometimes I think she's the adult between the two of us and I'm the moody teenager. And by sometimes, I mean most of the time.

"You're right. But call me if anything changes. And I mean anything. San Francisco isn't too far I can easily jump a plane back."

"I know. I know. Now go before you miss your flight."

I call Peeta while I'm in the airport. I haven't spoken to him for a few days. I'm reluctant to say I miss him but not admitting it isn't going to change how I feel so why lie. I miss him. A lot. I hope he's all right. I still didn't like the way we had left things off the last time we saw each other even if we had talked since then. There's no better way to get over an argument like make up sex. Gale had taught me that. I feel a large pang of guilt as I think about Gale but I shake it off. Now's not the time. Peeta doesn't pick up. Again. That's three times now. Three times that I've called him on different days and he hasn't picked up.

The flight over feels long for how actually short it is. I touch down in San Francisco disappointed that the clouds block my view of the Golden Gate Bridge. A man in a suit picks me up at baggage claim. His Ipad has my name written across it. We drive to my hotel. I settle into my nondescript hotel room. It's nice. Bed, bathroom, closet. I get ready for bed. I try Peeta one more time. He doesn't pick up. It's after eleven. I roll my eyes. I try not to get angry. Try being the key word there. I call Rue instead on facetime.

"Hi!" Her face pops up on the screen a few seconds before her voice comes through.

"Hey yourself, how are the boys?"

"Lets go check in on them." I watch the camera as Rue bobs down the steps and heads to the mudroom. "Hey babies!" Rue squeals to them. The two rambunctious ones are running around her feet. Dixie is hunched over his water bowl, wide eyed and staring.

"What's wrong, Dix-" Suddenly Dixie starts to vomit. Bad. Kittens that age shouldn't vomit like that. Something's wrong. "OmygodKat, whatdoido?" Rue says. Her voice has gotten shrill. Shit. Shit. Of course this happens the one day I go out of town.

"Okay, call Susan. She's on call. She was supposed to come in the morning to check them out." I see Rue pick up the house phone and call Susan, our farm vet.

"No answer!"

"Screw this, I'm calling the pet ambulance."

"Well what do I do in the meantime?"

"Take the eyedropper and give him some warm water through the side of his mouth. Let his stomach settle, then call Johanna. She can help you."

"Okay."

"I'm calling the pet ambulance."

I call the ambulance they pick up at the first ring.

"Hello, I need you to pick up a kitten. He's five weeks vomiting has already lost a significant amount of weight. I suspect an umbilical hernia that is creating an irritation or blockage of the intestines."

"Where are you located?"

"We're off the district 12 service road. Make a right up Hidden Road."

"You're outside our service limits."

"I'll accept the extra charge."

"Not an option ma'am. Your animal is not a candidate at this time."

"Then what do you expect me to do?"

"Go to the Heart Keeper Farm and Animal Rescue. The owner there knows a lot about animals maybe she can help you."

"I am the owner!"

"Oh. So what do you need us for?"

"I'm away and I'm still not a vet."

"You're not a vet."

"No! Now can you put me in touch with someone who can help me or not?"

"Sorry ma'am. Have a good night."

"Fine." I hang up the phone and throw it onto the hotel room bed. I call Rue again. She has Johanna there and hopefully they've calmed the kitten down.

"What's the update?"

"He just threw up again." Johanna says. She has a frown on her face.

"God dammit."

"Relax, I'm going to try a little less food and just straight up formula this next round. He's sleeping right now so he's okay."

"Alright. If he starts having trouble breathing rub his chest bone."

"I will."

I fight with myself about whether or not I should call Peeta again. It's close to one. How badly do I need him? He's probably working hard. Maybe I'll send him a text.

K: Hey it's me. Little Peeta isn't doing so hot.

No response. None. He better have lost his phone. I must fall asleep for an hour or so because the phone wakes me. It's Johanna. Hopefully Rue is asleep by now.

"Hey."

"Hey." I say.

"I'm sorry, Kat. He just couldn't keep anything down."

"So he-"  
"Yeah sweetie. It's over."

"Right."

I hang up and text Peeta.

K: Little Peeta died. Just letting you know.

I shut off my phone.

I drive home in a daze. I have no recollection of the plane ride and I don't know if we secured the funding for the farm. I've been well, numb. The news hasn't sunk in yet. I don't want to go home. I don't want it to be real. When I pull off the highway for my exit I stop off on the side of the road and park my truck. I grab my shuffle and my sneakers out of my bag. I start to run. The Heart of Dixie is playing on repeat. Somehow I find it more then appropriate. I keep running. Hours must go by. I watch the sunrise and move in the sky. I don't want to stop running. At some point I'm forced to in order to catch my breath.

A car pulls over behind me. The engine cuts and instinctively I know who it is. I contemplate running again.

"Katniss."

I turn around. I see Peeta. He's still in his suit. His hair is a mess.

"What are you doing here?"

"You didn't pick up your phone?"

"I shut it off this morning. Where were you this past week."

"I…I'm so sorry Katniss. About not calling, about Little Peeta-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay."

"Get everything done you needed to?"

"Well…."

I smile. There's no humor or happiness in it.

"Just save it. Listen I get it. You need to do this. But I don't do this. So, I think It's for the best if we just…." Why are the words so hard to get out? "You know, cut our losses."

"Kat, Please don't do this. It's just a small setback. You don't understand work is insane. Cato he totally-"

" I do understand. Better than you know. I've been here before. I've been with Gale with working too much, this is how it starts, and I can never go back to that."

"Please, Kat. Just please, no-"

"Good bye, Peeta."

I walk away. Every step I take hurts my heart that much more. Luckily I'm already numb so it's nothing I can't handle. I get to my car and drive the rest of the way to the farm. He doesn't follow me. I drop my keys on the counter and open the door to the mudroom. The two surviving kittens run over to me. I pick up the tuxedo colored one and hug him to my chest.

Then I cry.

I cry for a long time.

* * *

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